JESSSSUUUUUUSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is how I feel right now.
I feel as if I just want to stand in the middle of nowhere, no distractions, no interruptions and loudly proclaim the name of my Savior.
Desperation to taste the sweet name of Christ has been in my nature, but the race has brought me to a whole new level of what desperation for Jesus truly means.
India was by far the most difficult month of my life. I had physical discomforts like 90% humidity, mice crawling on me at night, no electricity, wading through poop water, etc. I had emotional discomforts like losing my team of three months that I had grown close too, adjusting to my ministry now focusing more on ouR Squad due to my new role as squad leader, etc. I had spiritual discomforts where I was desperate to be poured into, but for whatever reason felt extremely dry and dissatisfied.
Now I could choose to take all of my discomforts and focus on these in a negative light (which I originally did) OR look at my hardships and search for how God was moving through them (which I eventually did).
India provided growth in who I am as an individual. It gave me new relationships. It taught me that there’s always room for a deeper intimacy with Christ. It helped me to be thankful for the simplistic things I took for granted. Overall, India put my life in a whole new perspective!
Through searching for Christ’s hand at work, I developed the intimacy I am at now. Where every moment of every day, all I do is long for more of my God. I honestly thought I was there, that I had that desperation. But NO, I have realized that you will continue to have times in your life that you are so dehydrated you can barely go on, needing nothing other than the water of life that will satisfy your spiritual thirst. Without these times, we would forget to be grateful of the times where our thirst is more than quenched.
I am so glad that even in the hardest of times, that even when the enemy works so hard at bringing you down, the Lord NEVER gives up on you or I and remains faithful even in the times that He shouldn’t.
During debrief (a time for ouR Squad to debrief the past months), ouR Squad was being attacked by the enemy left and right. But it was so amazing to see God’s constant faithfulness through each and every struggle. Miscommunications were resolved to where lies were called out, my iPhone was lost, but then my teammate had one to lend me for the rest of the race, people got stomach bugs, but were healed within hours! Every blow was immediately or eventually bandaged up and that in itself is a beautiful thing to experience: Christ’s healing.
Through experiencing God’s genuine loyalty and endless faithfulness, how can we not help but yearn for Him constantly? Man we are so immensely blessed to have a God like our God! Just typing about Him in all His glory makes me want to get up and dance in joy for our King!
So I want to ask, just how much are you craving your Savior? What makes you get up in the morning and make it through the day? If your answer is not Jesus or you don’t feel like you’re quite to the desperation you just read about, I cannot encourage you enough to get on your knees and explore! I promise you will not be disappointed and you will come out a much more joyful, satisfied you! I pray you find yourself (if not already) desiring to scream…
JESSSSUUUUUUSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
