I saw a blogging challenge and I knew I had to write on it. The challenge is called The One. It is the one you cannot forget. Here’s the story about my one.
Her name is Rota. Shes about 4 years old and I got to see her every Monday and Friday. The first time I met her I instantly fell in love. She’s adorable and spunky. She’s extremely sassy and protective. If anyone tried to interrupt our time together she hit them.. sorry for them. She definitely has a mind of her own, sound familiar? We were a match made, she loved me and I loved her. She filled my heart with so much joy and broke it all at the same time. As I sit here I have to hold back the tears, yet I praise God that I have a story to tell. Every day when I walked into the orphanage Rota was there arms spread out wide ready to greet me. She didn’t speak a work of english but she would always try and mock what I said. I even got her to say “Roll Tide”, which was a huge highlight. She loved for me to hold her hands and spin her around. She just liked for me to hold her and to pay attention to her and only her. We did our usual routine for months. Then one day she wasn’t there. I figured she was doing something different that day, then the next time came around, still no sign of her. Months went by. What seemed like years. I can’t lie after about 2 months I became numb to it and lost hope in ever seeing her again.
One Sunday during prayer the Holy Spirit laid her so heavy on my heart I prayed. Not just a casual prayer but prayed with tears streaming down my face asking God for her protection and to bring her back to me. On Monday we went to the Orphanage, Rota’s picture in hand. I asked one of the ladies if she knew where Rota was and she told me no. A little girl named Maria said she had seen her and that she is her neighbor. Maria agreed to walk us to her house. I practically ran there, my heart was pounding, I was praying for God to prepare my heart for what was next. As I walk up to a small tin shack I see her little black crocs outside, my heart about lept out of my chest, it was confirmation she was alive and well. Yet, I was filled with utter disappointment to learn she was not home and had gone to the store with her mother. I walked back head low, comforted she was still alive, but heart broken because I missed her so much.
Friday rolls around and as I walk through the doors of the orphanage I see a familiar smile with arms spread out wide. It took everything in me not to ball my eyes out. There she was. What seemed like months of silence was God telling me to hold on. Y’all as I sit here that same joy fills my heart. I just held her never wanting to let her go.
My story takes an interesting turn here. It’s not all rainbows and butterflies because Rota was never the same kid she was before. She didn’t seem as interested in anything, and she seemed to only let me hold her because it made me happy. That broke my heart. I wanted my fun loving, selfie taking, sassy Rota back. Instead I learned a huge lesson that she didn’t need me, but I needed her. Here I was thinking that those kids needed me. They didn’t need me, I need them. That was a hard pill to swallow and I still dont have the words to put that all into perspective.
I was sent to South Africa for 9 months, to have people fall in love with Jesus. To be the hands and feet of the Lord. Not to have people fall in love with me or remember me. I wanted to leave behind Jesus. I lost sight of that especially with Rota. I wanted her to remember me forever, and she might, but now more than ever I pray that she will remember what was taught. That she will see Jesus in a radical light and he will give her back her spirit. That he will touch her in an incredible way. It’s not about me, it never was. It’s always been about Jesus and how he is able to shine through us to bring light to others.
“He must become greater; I must become less” John 3:30
