needed restful refreshing
uplifting changing
spiritual beautiful
Debrief is a time where the entire squad gets together along with our squad leaders, squad parents(an amazing couple from the states who comes out to see us all every other month of the race, brings us candy, wisdom, and if needed, a shoulder to cry on), and support staff from AIM. It is a time of rest and reflection. We have free time, as well as sessions during the day to help us reflect on what we have experienced and spur us into the next season of growth.
For me, debrief has been an Oasis in a desert. Europe, while great, has been incredibly draining and spiritually hard for me. It started in Romania where my spiritual life suffered because of my surroundings and lack of self control. I was in a place with the comforts and amenities of America, and I could not handle it. Our ministry was not heavy on evangelism or sharing the word, so there was need to rely on Christ in my daily ministry. In that month God and I drifted apart a bit…..no, I drifted from Him. He was there the whole time, just waiting for me to turn around and acknowledge his presence. The gap I created between myself and God did not get better with my transition into month 4 of the race.
At the end of month 3 on the race there are major changes that happen. First of all, the current squad leaders(who are people who have already been on the race) raise up people in the squad to take their place at the end of month 4. They raise people up and train them for a month before leaving, and giving the responsibility up to the new squad leaders. Because of this occurring there are new Team Leaders raised up to replace the ones who became the new squad leaders, and teams are also changed up.
So now I am dealing with my lack of reliance on God and trying to get back to a healthy place spiritually, my old team, who I poured into is now gone and is replaced with a new team who I need to lead physically and spiritually, and month four is the first month where my team is alone at our ministry site. In months previous I have always had at least one other team serving with my own. What made this hard for me was that while dealing with everything, all the changes and spiritual struggles, I also did not have another Team Leader to be encouraged by talk to about team and ministry struggles.
During one of our session I was having a particularly hard time dealing with some things and I needed release……I needed the Lord to remind me what His goodness felt like and to take the fear I had in my heart away. To take away the fear that the plan I have for my life might not match up with His plan for my life. It was in a moment of worship and surrender that God renewed my heart. He reminded me of His love for me. How I am His beloved. How in Him there is no fear…. how His Love damages fear….His love hates fear…. it will fight fear. He reminded me that His Perfect Love casts out fear and He filled me up with that love.
love of the Lord, and I am ready for this upcoming season He has in store for me. I am ready to walk in the Truth that I AM
God’s beloved and in the Authority that I have as a Son of
God! I am ready for Africa and the challenges that come along with it! Praise God!
