Sometimes I feel like God likes to throw me into a pit of lions with only a paper clip, some string, and a glue stick, and just watch what I do. Rofl. I've felt like this many times on the race, ya know, spiritually. I've embraced the reality that there are legitimate and powerful and totally evil enemies set against my heart, and that they are tirelessly seeking to destroy my freedom in Christ. Tirelessly. And I feel it. My enemy is a roaring lion, and he is crafty. The worst part is…
He speaks to me.
Whoa! Hold on. Don't freak out! I promise I'm not a satanist. That would make me a pretty terrible missionary. Actually, I know for a fact that he speaks to all of us. Most of his comments go like this…
"You're a loser."
"You are always blowing it"
"If only they really knew you they would hate you"
"Weakling. Coward. Idiot. Liar. Selfish. Disgusting. Ugly. Insignificant.
My personal favorite…and by that I mean least favorite…is when he tries to tell me that my faith in Jesus is a show and that if I was really a believer I would do this better, or not struggle with this, or always feel this ways. I struggle with performance issues. He tries to play on them…jerk. I hate lies.
Have you ever been under a whirlwind of condemning voices so loud that it drowns all of life out? I have…lots of times. It's what I like to call a "pit of lions". Since Nepal, I feel like I've found myself hanging out in the pit, fiddling around with my paper clip and string, thinking that if I can just glue them together the lions will flee in the strength of my ingenuity…It's just not gonna happen.
There was this prophet in Australia (I know that sounds weird, but just roll with it) who told me tht she had a vision of me fencing someone with one of those really thin, and not terrifying at all, swords that fencers use. She said I was practicing. That God was preparing me to wield (yep, I just used that word) a broadsword, but he needed to show me some things first. I thought that sounded awesome. A broadsword. And you know what I've found on the race?…
It's true.
God likes to throw me into the pit of lions to show me my need. I need more than paper clip Jesus giving me a fencers sword…I need a broadsword. Better yet…a rocket launcher! I need him to equip me, I need him to strengthen me, I need him to arm me with weapons of truth. I need his power.
What I'm learning is that there is a power inside my chest.
In the Old Testament, the Holy of Holies, the place where the presence of God dwelled, was so holy, awesome, and powerful that anyone who was not the High Priest on the Day of Atonement stepped in there, they immediately died. It was a powerful picture from God painted to show that, because of sin, we can not stand in the presence of God. How does this relate?
The Holy of Holies dwells inside my chest…and I'm not dead! Whoa.
I'm learning my enemy is terrified by this truth. Terrified. So…he roars. He knows I'm seeing what truly lies within my heart, and the only thing he is consistently attacking since Nepal is the one thing that sets my soul on fire…
Remembering who I am.
My identity. My sonship. My confidence. My holiness.The power of Christ within. It all makes him tremble. Truth is powerful. When I remember the truth of who I am in Christ I remember the rocket launcher that is lying right at my feet. Boom.
Again…truth is powerful. God is truth. As I come to know Him more and more I find myself more equipped to face the lies that are spoken over me daily. The lions lose their strength, and their roars become whispers. God is teaching me how to fight, but I'm finding all my weapons are found in just knowing Him more. Knowing truth. So yes, it may seem like God just enjoys throwing me into the pit of lions with paper clip, some string, and a glue stick for fun, but the reality is that the pit of lions is where I overcome lies with truth and cement the realities of God into my life. Satan is my own spiritual weight bench! As I fight, I become stronger in truth, as I become stronger in truth, I know God more. Winning.
