Be still and know that I'm with you…
To grasp these words from the father has held incredible power as this journey begins. I have so many questions, so many doubts, so many fears. I've left a few hundred precious things behind me, and the weight of that bears down on me more and more as I am continually reminded of them. It's funny to me how you never fully realize what you left behind until the memories, sparked by the most random triggers, hit you like a brick wall.
Then, as I sit here in the Hong Kong airport after a 15 hour flight (egads!!) from Chicago, on my way to another 4 hour flight to Kuala lumpur, Malaysia, all of the weight of the future is making its presence known. Like, what exactly happens when I get to Malaysia?–Ya know?Who are the people we will meet? What will out ministry even look like? And when does God start actually showing up in real ways? I just want to know! Like, do all the stories I hear about on past racers blogs start to happen as soon as we get off the plane, or is there like a buzzer or something that goes off that signals the race has begun? I'm really banking on that buzzer.
I guess I'm about to find out…
…thats the adventure, but I just can't wrap my head around an even remotely accurate expectation of what these next 20 days or YEAR for that matter will look like. What exactly is it that causes racers to change? In what ways does God actually show up that breaks down walls and causes racers to fall on their faces? And how will that even look for me this year?
And then…
Amongst all the weight of my past memories and present anxieties; amongst all the waves of conflicting emotions; amongst my quick and minor freak out, God met me with the lyrics of a song to lift my burdens and cut to my soul…
Be still…I'm here.
Just to have relationship with the Father of all things is enough.
….My soul needs to hear that again…
Just to have relationship with the Father of all things is enough.
His favor and His love continues to flash and shout with power into my life, and it's so good. It's soooooo good. When I truly carry and acknowledge the presence of my God with me I walk in so much freedom, resting in the love that casts out anxieties and fear. My soul hungers for the presence of God because in Him my soul really does find its rest.
The problem is there is something else in me that wants control, and its powered by fear. I was letting that part consume me sitting right there in the Hong Kong airport. Yet God in His mercy, through an intimate knowledge of who I am, brought a perfect song at the right moment of chaos to remind me. He longs to remind all of us. He LONGS to. When the bible says to "be still and know that I am God", I think the Holy Spirit knew how powerful that would be in bringing supernatural peace to our souls. I know I need to make it a habit on this race because there will be storms. I will need the glorious presence of God constantly. Yet, in every storm God controls every single wave, and He loves me. I can rest in that. I can rest in Him. His love never fails. Ever.
Ever. #rofl.
Take a listen to the song. It's called "Be Still" by The Fray. I know I've been a hater of the band in the past, but this song nails it! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vtp-p7qFI2I
