Two Things:
One—Working at camp has consumed my life for the past year and a half.
Two—I haven’t actually been a camper since I was like 12.
So, as we loaded up our over packed bags Friday morning on our two-day road trip to Toccoa, GA for World Race training camp, I was pumped! (And slightly nervous). I had no idea what to expect, no clue of the growth I’d experience, no confidence that I had even remotely packed right without my mother’s expert guidance (I’m pathetic). I was just that wide-eyed, half-way excited half-way terrified camper again. It was refreshing. The camp-kid in me was ready to come out.
But I had nothing in my Christian camp experience box to prepare me for this…
I had never attended a camp where the Kingdom of God was spoken so boldly and without fear; I had never attended a camp where people prayed for the Holy Spirit to fill a room, and he actually did; I had never attended a camp where miracles became part of the daily camp schedule; I had never attended a camp where the freedom brought by the Spirit bust out into an all-out dance party*; I had never attended a camp where vulnerability is covered with immediate compassion and prayer; and, I had never attended a camp where chains fall off and peace overcomes as a group of campers further understand their identity as children in Christ.
And to be honest…It scared the crap outta me!
For real though–That whole week was so new to me, and I experienced things that I always figured could happen, but had never really believed (e.g. healings). It threw me off, and for the first part of the week I sunk into my shell. I felt so weak in comparison to all the things going on around me, and I immediately bought into the lie that I had nothing to offer. Insecurity. It is one of the worst things in the universe, and is NOT from God.
And then God whispered words that it takes all of me to hold on to…
The thing about a sovereign God is that He is in control of EVERYTHING. He’s writing all of our stories simultaneously. Therefore, wherever God has me at the moment is within His hands. It’s an incredible thought that my mind grasped, and my heart had passed for so long. One of my favorite verses in the Bible is Philippians 1:6 which says…
There is so much peace in that! Wherever I am, He loves me right there, and thinks I am worthy. From the moment He reached into my life I was set on a path that HE was going to bring to completion! So freeing! So why should I be insucure about where I am at in comparison to where everyone and everything else is around me? The God of the Universe is guiding my steps! And he considers each one of our steps beautiful. I left those old chains of insecurity at camp! Grace Chapel, 2nd row.
Just getting my groove on…haha Dubstep between sessions was pretty awesome!
God is so good, and He blessed me with a peace at training camp that I had needed for some time now. I realize that I have areas in my life that I need to deal with, and struggles that I need to struggle with. One of those struggles is even holding on to this truth for dear life, as I've already experienced Satan trying to aggressively attack it. However, I can't win over my own heart in the process…God does that. He's the healer. So…I'm giving the process to Him. It might be a much slower and confusing than I would like, but His will is for my good through love…always. And I am confident that He will bring this whole thing to completion. Jesus on the cross is my proof! So. Much. Peace.
*I have seen an all out dance party at camp before brought along by freedom, but I’m pretty sure “Call Me, Maybe?” was the influence…not the Spirit. Still, same concept.
