For the first time in over 6 months I am completely alone. And I have to say it is the weirdest feeling ever. Please allow me to explain a little.
I have an amazing, wonderful older sister who found the man she is choosing to love for the rest of her life. So naturally they set their wedding date in the middle of the World Race, January 4, 2014 to be exact. AIM has a wonderful policy that allows you to return home for the wedding of an immediate family member or the death of a family member. And I have been blessed beyond belief with a family who would do anything to make sure I can be at that wedding.
And so it comes to pass that on the final day in Swaziland I leave earlier than the rest of the squad to jump on a plane home for 3 days of wedding and 4 + days of travel. And it is weird.
I had two bus rides alone, and while I made friends it wasn’t quite the same as making friends while you are with your friends. I have 8 hours to wait in an airport and have no one for cards, shenanigans, music, none of it.
I came in the airport and sat down without finding my check in counter or gate because of the excessive amount of time and the longer I sit he more I am overwhelmed with the realization of being alone. What if my bus dropped me at the wrong airport? I would have to figure it all out and dont have 50 other people stuck with me in waiting.
What if I have one delayed flight or struggle through customs for some unknown reason? I don’t have 50 other people to hold up the plane or make a long line at customs so they just let us all through. My mind is racing in circles faster and faster, until I realize that my heart is pounding and for no reason.
I take a deep breath, walk to the bathroom, dragging my bag behind me because I don’t have 50 people willing to watch it for me. And I start chatting to the one I know is always here. Yeah, I know it’s kind of cheesy but I had a little chat with Jesus about being alone and suddenly unsure of everything. It is right now that I am really thinking of the community I have developed for the past 6 months.
While the rest of my squad is jealous of my freedom and independence, I am missing them and the community we have all become. Let’s be real, it is weird to be in he middle of a crowd and know none of them. Nearly every day of my life I have been able to look I into a crowd and realize that I know 1, 2, 3, 50, all of them. From growing up in a small town, to shopping in the same city as the rest of my small town, to college, to life after college, I have been surrounded by people I know. And if I didn’t know them, all it took was 10 minutes of friendly conversation and I had another person to add to the list of someone I knew.
And that is how God created us. To always know the people around us, to have community, constantly pushing each other deeper into God’s love and challenging one another in small and big ways in order to create a better church.
So I should make this happen. I should build communiy in the middle of a bus, airport, airplane, coffee shop, town square, wherever I am and I challenge you to do the same.
