I was browsing through old journals, looking for spare pages to use and found an entry. I don't have it dated; it's thrown in the middle of a bunch of drawings. But the words made me so thankful for where God is calling me right now.
"Restlessness has become a danger and a constant companion. I don't want to sit still and let the world that God created just pass me by. At the same time, I have no idea of what it is I am supposed to do or where I am to go. I wonder if I am supposed to be a simple housewife who stays at home. I don't think I would mind, but I don't want to do that now. I am aching for adventure and for more than I have in my hands right now. I am also scared that God would ask me to do something alone. I am more willing to take the next step when I can hear another foot stepping in time with mine. I simply don't know. I don't know any of it anymore."
The beauty is what has come of that time. Restlessness still exists, but in a different capacity; it has finally brought movement. It has brought me wisdom, healing and joy by resting through the restlessness. Adventure is coming and my hands are full trying to grip a lifestyle that will be simple. And while fear is still present, I no longer fear the alone.
There will be many others joining me from country to country. There will be hundreds that I will meet over the next year. And there already is a community who has lived with me and supports me in this calling. They have challenged me over the years and supported me, building me into who I am. It is because of the people in my past and present that my life is so different from these words in my journal.
I want to ask you to join me. Right here, right now. If your'e reading this, you're probably part of my community. If you're not, feel free to join there's always room for more. But I want to ask you to help me out. I've already learned that this is not an alone journey. And even if you won't be able to physically be with me, there is a way you can support me. First, through prayer. Pray for me as a part of the body, a witness, a tool; pray for my safety and the safety of those around me; pray for a willingness to be present within me to do whatever God is calling; pray for His love to shine brightly and to be contagious; pray for His provision in all situations. I can keep listing the need for prayer, but there is another way you can help; I'm needing financial support. And right now I have donor who has offered to match donations until April 25. That's two weeks away.
It feels strange to write these words in this order. I started this post simply excited to share about the simple beauty of the change in my life, a cry that has been answered. And then the writing road changed. I haven't figured out how to graciously ask for help. It's kinda hard. It feels so weird to ask a community that has helped build me to contribute more. But I'm starting to realize that is part of Kingdom living that we often forget about. Or at least I do. I strive and struggle to do something on my own, and yet I cry out for community. The interesting part is that I never, or nearly so, ask for help. I rarely ask others, and seem to only remember the God loves helping me until I'm at the end of my wits. I need to remember that part of living like Christ means helping others, but asking for help myself. It's part of community, part of the Kingdom, part of being a Child of God.
**I have to apologize for the discombobulated thought process.**
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