My team got the opportunity to change ministries and locations. We are now working in Gulu with a church called VictoryOutreachChurch. The church is incredible and so is our contact. So far we have helped with the Sunday service. It was such an incredible service that was so full of love and God was so present. The temporary team I am on works incredible together and the members of Transformers that I have been with have been such a blessing and encouragement. The hardest part about switching ministries was leaving some of the kids behind…especially Otim.
I told him on Friday that Saturday was our last day. The look on his face was painful. He didn’t understand at first that we were leaving for good and thought that we would be back; trying to explain to a kid that you are never coming back…rough. I thought that I had said my goodbye’s to him on Friday evening because he had to go to the field on Saturday morning to harvest.
To my surprise on Saturday morning he showed up where we were staying and said he had gotten up very early and had already harvested. Then he told me he needed to talk to me in secret. We went around the corner so that we could have “privacy” (kids are always everywhere so there is never real privacy) and the first words that came out of his mouth were “When are you going to come back to get me and take me to America“? I was shocked at that statement and so sad that I had to tell him that is not possible. I tried to explain to him that it is a complicated process and I can’t just take him. Plus, his grandmother needs him to help her. He wasn’t really having any of that. He asked me if I was going to take him home to my mom. He started crying and told me that no one cares about him, no one loves him and no one will pay his school fees. To those of you reading this, Otim probably sounds like a little boy who is trying to sucker me into giving him things, maybe I bought into it, maybe that is what he is, but to me it was just a little boy who I have come to love telling me that, to him, life seems hopeless. His tears broke my heart. I wanted to buy him a plane ticket and send him home to my parents right away. I wanted to find someone who can sponsor him and pay for his school. But I can’t do any of that. All I kept telling him over and over was that he is not alone, that people do care about him, that I love him but more importantly God loves him. One of the first nights I met him he told me that he was an orphan. I read to him Psalm 67:5 where it says God is a “Father to the fatherless”. I tried to remind him of that today. To remind him he is not an orphan or alone.
He told me that he was sad I was leaving because he always wanted to be near me. He asked for something to remember me by since I couldn’t take him with me. I asked him if he wanted one of my drawings and he said he did. As I went inside to get my drawings for him to look through, I completely lost it. My team was in morning prayer at the time without me because I was talking with Otim. I walked into our room and immediately started balling. How had this kid grabbed a hold of my heart so strong and so fast? Why was my heart breaking because I couldn’t save him from his life in Uganda? I tried to compose myself because I knew that I had to go back outside and sit with Otim as he picked out a drawing. He ended up picking my two favorite pieces I’ve done and I wrote him a message on the back reminding him again how loved he is by me and God and that I would never forget him and always pray for him.
When I went back inside Alex asked me how I was doing. She said what a good thing it was that I had a broken heart for the people here, that it is good that I connected and loved so strongly. She reminded me of a prayer I have been praying. I’ve been asking God to send me someone, to let me connect with someone so strongly that when I leave them, my heart hurts. Again, God answered my prayer…I just didn’t expect it to hurt this much.
