This morning we had another service at Latter Glory church. Today the church seemed to be full of people, many more than we normally have. There was a mixture of people who live in the community and street kids.
Today I was sitting next to a boy who would not stop huffing his glue. Many of the kids put the glue in the sleeve of their shirts and then when they put the shirt up to their mouth they have the glue in the sleeve. It is a more inconspicuous way to huff the glue. Another way they do it is by putting the glue bottle in the collar of their t-shirt and then just putting the shirt over their face to get to the glue. If they don’t want to hide their glue they just stick the bottle in between their teeth and keep the bottle in the mouth. The boy I was sitting next to today was using the “up the sleeve” method. So, I tried holding his hand so that he couldn’t get to his bottle.
For some reason us trying to have the kids not sniff the glue has become a game to them. They laugh at us when they get to their glue. I told the boy today that I was not going to take away his glue I just wanted him to stop huffing it for the sermon. Whenever he got his hand out of mine he thought he was so clever and all his friends would sit around and laugh. At one point he pulled his glue out of his shirt and put it up to one nostril at a time. He was making an elaborate attempt to shock me and show me what he could do with his glue. At that point I decided to hold both of his hands. I was just so sick of the glue! He managed to get one hand free and shimmied it up the other sleeve where his glue was hidden. He grabbed his glue out his sleeve and looked at me as if he had gotten one past me. That is when I was done. I gave up and walked away.
I just kept thinking “Sniff your glue! Kill yourself! What can I do? I have no food to give you! I have no home for you! So, keep sniffing your glue in my face because I can’t do anything for you!”
I hate to tell you all how frustrated I was. I want to tell you great things about my experience and that I loved all the people I’ve met. I’ve decided that wouldn’t be real though. I don’t know how to end this blog. I have no conclusions. I don’t know what to do about these kids. I have no idea how to help them or what else to do.
As I write this a song has come to mind that I will end with.
“As I rest against this cold hard wall, will you pass me by?
Will you criticize me as I sit and cry?
I had fought so hard and thought that all my battles had been won,
Only to find the war has just begun.
Is He not strong enough?
Is he not pure enough?
To break me, pour me out and start again?
Is he not brave enough to take one chance on me?
Please can I have one chance to start again?
Will my weakness for an hour make me suffer for a lifetime?
Is there anyway to be made whole again?
If I’m healed, renewed and find forgiveness,
Find the strength I’ve never had
Will my scares forever ruin all God’s plans?
Is He not strong enough?
Is he not pure enough?
To break me, pour me out and start again?
Is he not brave enough to take one chance on me?
Please can I have one chance to start again?
He took my life into his hands and turned it all around.
And in my most desperate circumstance is there I finally found
That you are strong enough
You are pure enough
To break me pour me and start again
You are brave enough to take one chance on me
Thank you for my chance to start again.”
-Stacie Orrico, “Strong Enough”
