One moment in time can change everything. Everything. I am standing above two sweet brothers cuddling on a mattress on the living room floor; Joshua (age 11), a spitting image of his father, and Innocent (age 9), a spitting image of his mother. Its 12:35am and they are fast asleep “talking to Jesus” as their father, Pastor Innocent, would say. I can’t help but think of how much I have been blessed through these boys. The love I feel for them is so profound and deeply rooted in my heart, I can’t imagine leaving them. Then I remember….. I am not supposed to be here.
This is not what I signed up for. We are not supposed to be in Rwanda. Listening to this sweet 9-year old boy snoring louder than a small child should be capable of was not supposed to happen. According to my calculations, I should be in Swaziland right now, spent last month in Botswana, and on my way to South Africa in about a week. Yet here I am, in utter disbelief that my heart has been stolen in a country that was not in my plan.
Funny how God can tend to do that..
On our final day of launch last September, the very evening before we were to board a plane and travel 75 hours to Cambodia, we were informed of a route change. Africa was changing. Completely changing. The countries we signed up for were not going to happen; in fact we weren’t even going to get close. Instead of southern Africa, we were heading to the east. Mama say what?! No South Africa? Swaziland? I had read blog after blog of ministry in those countries. The excitement was there…Then they were ripped from under me. Completely gone.
Standing here makes me think of the movie ‘About Time’ that I recently watched with my teammates (well, I fell asleep after 25 minutes, but I got the idea). The main character had the ability to go back to any time he was present in and change it, but by making a change there was a bit of a domino effect. Or lets see, for someone who is into the classics, think of ‘Back to The Future’! Yes, I know Marty McFly. Ayoooo, CLASSIC! He could go back, but there were specifics he could not change or everything could be changed forever. Such as when his mother in her younger self had a crush on him…that got weird fast.
I had never thought of traveling to these countries on the race and the moment they were announced I felt torn. On one hand, I felt an overwhelming sense of excitement about the unknown. Spontaneity is such a love language; I am sure my first response was a scream of some extremely high octave…. followed by the jaw drop. Everything was going to change and I knew it. That very moment was going to change everything. It changed my year, the race that I am living out, and my walk with the Lord…. My plan, maybe not; but it was part of His plan for me. It always was. When I signed up for the race, He knew that eastern Africa was where He was taking me. While I may not have recognized that plan 5 months ago standing outside of the Holiday Inn, everyday more and more of its goodness is being revealed to me. Today, that goodness is right here, watching over my sweet brothers.
The moments I am having here are shaping me daily. The walk I took with Innocent today through the village as he asked, “You are following Jesus aren’t you? I asked which way, and you said left. You are listening to Jesus.” Or the whiny voice of the youngest, Prince, who deals hard core with YCS (Youngest Child Syndrome), I know that struggle all too well. The crazy bold prayers we have prayed for healing over this community and our new family. The redemption I have been blessed to witnessed in a country that 20 years ago suffered the loss of over 1,000,000 people to genocide. The sermons preached about the Fathers love by me and my teammates. The comedian Pastor Innocent and his 10 amazing alter egos including “Border Patrol Innocent” and “Choir Master Innocent”. I am not sure there is one thing I would change about where I am. The overwhelming amount of joy I get to experience daily was specially tailored by God for this life I am living in Rwanda. Lord, the joy that you have given me in Africa!
That one announcement five months ago in Atlanta, GA changed everything. The race I am living here is not the race that I would have lived in southern Africa. It would have undoubtedly been amazing. God would have shown up and showed out, per usual…But this, this is where I am suppose to be. Standing here listening to my sweet little brother snore up a beautiful conversation with Jesus….
