Bigger Fish to Fry

One of my most used lines about God is "he's got bigger fish to fry" in reference to myself. People are dying, others are more deserving, wars are happening. My fundraising needs aren't big enough fish, my depression isn't a big enough fish, I am not a big enough fish.

Out of pride, I don't ask for so many my needs through prayer. I try and do God a favor, take some of the burden off of His shoulders and put it on my own because I don't believe I am a big enough fish. I don't believe that I am worthy.

That's the struggle between me and God. Finding my own selfworth, accepting the love He hands out and then embracing it. I am learning but its a slow process of throwing out all the negative feelings that I've developed over the years for myself and learning that I am worthy enough for God's attention. 

Growing up in a family of people who loved to fish, I remember learning about catfish and which catfish were good for eating. It was the smaller ones not the big ones that you ate. The big fish weren't as good for frying. So while yes, I am a small fish and God has bigger fish to fry and more things to worry about then me, He still wants me. He still has time for me and more love for me then I could ever imagine.

I am His.