“Depression is the most unpleasant thing I have ever experienced. . . . It is that absence of being able to envisage that you will ever be cheerful again. The absence of hope. That very deadened feeling, which is so very different from feeling sad. Sad hurts but it's a healthy feeling. It is a necessary thing to feel. Depression is very different.”
– J.K. Rowling
"The greatest battle is not physical, but psychological. The demons that tell us to give in when we push ourselves to the limit can never be silenced for good. They must be met with the steady, the quiet dignity that refuses to give in. Courage. We all suffer. Keep going."
J.K. Rowling talks about the dementors in Harry Potter being symbolic for depression and it's the best physical representation that I can think of for the sickness. All the happiness just gets sucked right out of you, just like the kiss of the dementors.
For me, I had a genetic predisposition to it. My family is full of people taking prozac like pills to soothe the inner demons that are continually trying to break us down. So when I became depressed, I was lucky and got the help I needed. I was lucky that I lived in a place where it wasn't swept under the rug and it was something that I could talk about with my family.
Today, I still suffer. Somedays I don't want to get out of bed still and I just have to push through. Somedays the depression wins but I still keep going. I still keep fighting the battle.
I don't believe there will ever be a day that I won't struggle with this. Just like an alcoholic is always an alcohlic no matter how long he is sober, I will always be a victim of depression no matter how long I am out of the hole.
I am learning that depression is not something to be ashamed of. Depression and other mental disorders are no different from having any other sickness and it should not be treated any differently. So I am going to continue to fight it and I am going to share my story, in hopes that it will help someone else feel comforted that they are not alone.
