So here’s the deal.
This is about to be a pretty blunt blog post. I’m sorry but then again, I’m not. I have tried to sit down many times to write another blog post, but it seems that I can’t seem to get all of this off of my heart and out of my head. So, it’s time that I shared it. I know I posted something like this a bit earlier… but I don’t think it’s sunk in.
So here’s what’s up.
I am 12% funded so far for the world race. PRAISE THE LORD. I am so incredibly excited and I am so incredibly blessed to see the ways that He has provided through all of you, so thank you all so so so much.
Reality though is, I do still have a ways to go. I have my first deadline coming up in April and I am still quite a bit away from that. The deal is,
I need you.
Plain and simple. I need you and I need your prayers and I need your support. I will not be able to do this without all of you. When I think about the Race, and when I talk about the Race, my heart beats so fast it is going to practically jump out of my chest. There is no doubt in my mind that I am called to this. Our world… is such a broken hurting world and there is SO much restoration and hope and love and peace and security and power in the name of Jesus.
So clearly, I remember the day that Jesus Christ saved me. I had hit rock bottom and there was no where to go. I was struck down in despair. I was abandoned by the ones I loved, curled up on the floor with a shattered view on life and on my own worth and my identity. I had everything stripped away from me and felt as though I was carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. I had been beaten and used, lied to and abused, and I was hurting, oh goodness was I hurting. I had nothing else.
But God was pursuing me.
I was so many “ungodly” things. I was an impulsive liar and I was manipulative and I knew how to work others to get what I wanted and what I needed. I hurt other people daily in order to protect myself. You know those big signs that people hold up telling everyone they’re going to hell.. well I was pretty much everything on that list. I was destined for hell. I was a thief, I was a fornicator, I was an addict, I was selfish; I was so incredibly vile. And yet still the Lord was pursuing me.
The Lord has always been pursuing me. I owe Him my life. And, it’s not just the fact that I literally owe him my life, but I long to give it to him. I am so in love with my savior. I feel so much joy and so much peace and hope because of my relationship with Jesus Christ. My heart aches for those I see out on the street that are sitting in a gigantic pile of lies about who they are and about what they are worth. My heart yearns to tell them the truth. I want so desperately to show them their worth and how much they are loved and cared for.
Why does it have to be overseas you ask? Well, frankly, it doesn’t, but someone has to go.
If you know me, you know that I have a serious passion for traveling, for cultures, and for languages. My favorite thing is being thrown into a situation that I do not understand. Those gifts and passions aren’t on accident. I love learning and I love exploring and I LOVE meeting people where they are. I don’t want them to come to a church here in America. I want to go to them, I want to serve them. I want to wash the feet of those that are constantly walking the dirt road of shame and despair that they feel they are stuck on. I want to take the truth to those people in the little pockets of the world that people wouldn’t think to go to.
So: Plain and simple; someone has to go.
“Here I am Lord; send me”. I have no ties here, my family and I aren’t impeccably close unfortunately no matter how hard I try, my lease on my apartment is up, I’m single, so single, and I can’t help feeling that it all has been leading up to this. Now is the time. Those of you who know me know that this calling isn’t anything new. I have been wrestling with going to school or going out into the world and serving overseas for about 3 years now.
And well, honestly I am done waiting for tomorrow when there are people out there who need to hear the truth of the Lord today.
Many of you are upset that I am putting off schooling again in order to do this. Why? Will college not always be here? Is now the only time? Is it now or never? No.
Many of you are upset that I am “giving up” a year of income. Why? Do I not serve a Lord who is a constant provider?
Many of you are upset that I am “abandoning you” for a year. Why? Are the hearts of those scattered around the world that need the love and salvation of the Lord not more important that anything I could possibly bring or give to you in a year?
Many of you are upset that I am “choosing to put myself in danger for a year.” Why? As a Christian I am not called to be comfortable. Do I not serve a God who will fight for me and who promises to protect me?
Many of you just don’t understand the urgency or understand my passion. Let’s talk, let’s get coffee, let’s skype, whatever. I want nothing more than to share that with you.
The deal is, Regardless of whatever you think or feel, please take a second and listen to me.
I am called to do this. I have never felt surer of something in my life.
I am doing this and the reality is, whether you’re supportive of the decision or not, I NEED you to be supportive of me.
I don’t want to do this alone and I can’t do this without you. I desperately need your prayers and I need your support financially.
So, please, pray about it, and if you can find it in your heart to partner with me, any little bit helps. Email me [email protected] and let’s talk. I’d love for you to understand my heart and journey with me through this.
