Have you ever made your way through a season in life, only to get through it and feel like it was all a dream?
That’s what the Race feels like to me. A dream. A beautiful, tough, magical, breath-taking, peaceful, insane…DREAM.
The picture I keep getting in my mind, is this picture of a girl sitting on the edge of her bed. It’s quite obvious that her alarm just went off, and maybe early mornings aren’t her happiest moments. Her eyes are still shut, and her breathing sill rhythmic, as she begins to wake up for the day. Her heart is beating to the beat of the dream she had last night. Her mind is racing. But you’d never know it from just looking at her. In fact, you’d probably chuckle at the sight of her–drool(?) stains her right cheek, her hair is plastered across her face, traces of make-up from the previous day are smeared around various parts of her face, her mouth is hanging wide open–as she is still half-way asleep. She continues to sit on the edge of the bed, when her eyes finally begin to stop feeling so heavy from the sleep. But before she opens her eyes she can sense something is different from when she went to sleep last night. She’s not so sure she’s ready to open her eyes so instead decided she should probably stretch–that’s just enough of an energy boost to wake her up fully. She can’t keep her eyes shut anymore and finally opens her eyes, as she takes a minute to continue yawning and stretching. Finally, she ready to start her day. It’s finally time to rise and shine.
People ask me how it feels to be back. Honestly, it’s weird to be back. 🙂 Not bad…just different. In talking to one of my friends, he said something along the lines of: “It’s one thing to leave your community and move to another. It’s something completely different to leave your community for an extended period of time and then to come back to that same community, and see how different it is after that time.” I couldn’t have said it better myself. It’s not a bad thing, or a wrong thing. It’s just different. Just like I’m different than I was when I left, my people here are different than they were when I left. The community still looks the same (with some new faces), but it feels different. 11 months of growth, challenge, heart-ache, victory, and life was missed. You can’t go through 11 months of life and not be changed to some degree! 🙂 So, when I look around I’m in the same community I was in when I left, but it doesn’t feel like the same community. It’s stronger, closer, more bold, more sensitive, more joyful, more beautifully heart-broken, more full of love, more like Jesus. It’s a beautiful thing to be in. 🙂 So beautiful, that I keep seeing reminders of my M-squad community within it.
Re-entry–heck yeah, it’s tough. But having this community makes it easier. There’s nothing quite like stepping back into the presence of your prayer warriors, after being away for 11 months and feeling their prayers from MILES away. What a blessing it has been!
With love,
Ash
