One week before I found myself praying and walking the streets of the red light district in Chiang Mia, Thailand a woman was killed by her customer and found two days later in a bathroom. There was a somber and fearful presence in the air as her friends who worked at the bars on Loh Koi Road shared this story with us and how sad they were approaching the funeral the next day. Their bright smiles that they would flash as customers walked by did not hide the fear in their eyes. When light is absent, darkness prevails. Will we go to the darkest of places and allow God to shine from within? To love the broken? To love the sinners? To love the lost? To help reunite displaced children with their Heavenly Father? To carry joy where things seem hopeless? We must not be afraid and walk in the authority God has given us to represent him where most Christians are afraid to go.
To live fearlessly for His kingdom and glory.
When I was 17 years old, I would find myself laying on the gray carpet in my room reading countless stories about girls my age or under trapped in sex- trafficking. Ha, not your normal light read after school. Flipping through books filled with journal entries, my eyes would overflow with tears until I couldn’t even see the words on the page anymore. Each time this happened, I set the book down and would just lay there crying and praying to God to save these girls from the horrors they live through everyday. I would pray for these girls all over the world. The little four year old girls in India being prepared for life in a brothel, the girls in Africa kidnapped and sold in a neighboring country, the kids from Toledo, Ohio who had parents sell them to friends for sex to pay for their drugs, and even the girls in Thailand who were sent out of the village and into the big city to sell their body in order to provide for their family at home. I couldn’t help it. My heart broke for these women and children and a passion erupted in my heart; something I had never experienced before.
Throughout my college career, I have done the research, I have presented papers, I have interviewed survivors in Ohio, Michigan, and Indianapolis, I have served with student organizations creating awareness, I have attended conferences, and hosted prayer events for this social injustice of sex-trafficking. Yet, five years later, nothing could prepare me for the reality of this darkness right in front of my face.
I was no longer watching a documentary across a screen… but having to stop walking so I didn’t bump into a man being lured into a bar by girls wearing lingerie. I had to move to the side of the sidewalk as several different older, white, male customers and young, Thai women walked past me headed to a hotel room. I watched men stop in front of the “massage” parlors and pick out which woman they wanted for service. I watched lonely men just sit with girls seeking companionship; ordering drink after drink while playing connect four to break the awkwardness of language barriers. I saw men pull women onto their laps and touch and caress these women they had just met. Before crossing the street, I watched four older white males pile in a car after one Thai girl. I watched a scared women frantically putting makeup under her eye to hide the fresh bruise that was slowly appearing on her face before walking back into the bar. I watched an underage girl being escorted out of a strip club by police. I couldn’t even get a slice of pizza down the street from my hostel without Thai girls and their customers awkwardly sharing food together in silence at the restaurant table.
I can’t quite articulate what my heart felt. The first night was the hardest. I was overwhelmed with heaviness from the extreme brokenness and darkness that I had seen first hand. To be honest, I still don’t know what to make of it all. Whichever way you look at this issue, it all comes down to broken, distorted love.
I have been wrestling with God a lot;
more than I ever have in my life.
He has been patient with my questions, tears, and emotions… each time pointing me back to his love. Pointing me back to the sacrifice he made on the cross when he took on all our brokenness and sin so we could live freely in the living hope he has given us as believers.
Back when I was in high school reading journal entries and doing my own research, I discovered that more than half of the girls who survived sex- trafficking ended up committing suicide. Their low self worth and lack of purpose for life leads many survivors to take their own life. It was that moment when I decided I had to do something about this. I could not merely just read these stories and move on with life. These are God’s children who need to know how valued, worthy, and loved they are by the King of Heaven. They are precious in his sight and are not condemned in any way, but loved extravagantly. These women need to know that God never intended such evil to come against them, but the reality is that we live in a broken world and God wants to make all things new. He wants to create beauty from ashes; He wants to redeem their story. He wants to save and heal their broken hearts. He wants to restore and bring hope to what seems impossible. These victims and survivors need to know this message of hope, love, and life.
I want to walk alongside these girls’ stories and help them encounter the God of miracles and love. His love changes everything while bursting light into the darkest of places, and I desire to be his mouth piece and his hands and feet.
The first week in Thailand consisted of prayer walks throughout the red light district. I was reminded how important it is to go into these places covering them in Jesus’ name. We live in a battle zone between good and evil, light and darkness, and prayer is the strongest weapon. Prayer changes things and shifts atmospheres. When we as believers step into dark places in the physical realm or through prayer, the evil has to leave because we carry the light within us.
When I envisioned myself doing bar ministry for the first time, I never imagined my parents would be doing it alongside of me. Ha, but Jesus is crazy like that!! Thailand was a unique month because my parents were able to come visit me for one week and join me in ministry. Definitely a highlight from the month! Among other forms of ministry, the most unforgettable memory I have is spending the evening in the red light district sipping on pineapple juice at the bar, and loving on three prostitutes with my mom and dad. To my surprise, we made one heck of a team and got to encourage and share with the girls how loved and worthy they are in God eyes. It was a unique and precious memory that I will treasure in my heart.
On our last night of ministry, I had gone back to the bars with the intent to just run in and say goodbye to the girls we had built relationships with while my parents felt led to stay back and intercede for me and my teammates. Something shifted in the atmosphere that night. I believe it was the prayer walks my team did at the beginning of the month covering the darkness with Jesus’ name and then my mom and dad praying fervently on my behalf as I stepped into the red light district one last time to seal all that was done and said through love.
What was usually a heavy and dark atmosphere was different on my last night in the red light district as I bursted with indescribable joy. With the intent of saying goodbye briefly and leaving, I ended up staying for two hours silly- dancing to 80s music with the women. I taught the girls the little swing dance moves I know and twirled them around as they burst with smiles and laughter while watching all the customers leave the bar. When light is present, darkness has to leave!! Even the bar mom, the manager, got on the dance floor smiling, laughing, and spinning around with me as the customers walked past her to exit. She didn’t even care. Light had overcome, and in that moment she didn’t want anything more than the joy she was experiencing.
Love conquers all and we have to be willing to step into broken and dark places believing in faith that he has overcome.
We are the light of the world. Let’s shine for all the nations to see.
