Embracing This New Season of Life
The value in having a community is extremely important to me. I would not be the woman I am today without the people who journeyed with me the last four years. Ironically, although I value the authenticity and intimacy that good community carries, shame continually keeps me from allowing people to sit in the messiness of life with me.
Shame is crippling to ones journey towards wholeness and heart transformation because shame tells us not to let anyone see the brokenness of our lives. Yet, we were not created to journey through life alone. It’s actually impossible. Does not matter what religious beliefs you have or what culture you are from, we all innately have the desire to be known and to be loved. We need each other.
I remember sitting second row in my child development class with Dr.Robinette sophomore year of college and being taken back by the miracle of life in a form of a healthy newborn baby. My professor explained the importance of caring for a newborn baby with nurture and love. Research has shown that babies in orphanages around the world who are not held, nurtured, and loved enough, lack the capability to fully develop a healthy brain. It’s a phenomenon that research is unable to explain why or how this occurs other than the simple fact that we were all created to be loved.
We need love. We need connection. We need community. We need people who consistently love and build us up. However, I don’t believe a good community can exist without vulnerability.
A lot of communities throw around the word vulnerability, but what exactly does it mean?
Good ol’ Merriam defines Vulnerability as
: capable of being physically or emotionally wounded
: open to attack or damage
Ha, not the type of definition that propels you to be vulnerable with people. It actually sounds terrifying! Why would I open my heart up to people when they could easily take aim on my brokenness or insecurities and attack, damage, or wound me? That does not sound safe at all.
Being vulnerable involves risk
Being vulnerable requires courage
Being vulnerable is necessary
For as long as I can remember, I have struggled believing the lie that I AM NOT GOOD ENOUGH. And shame has kept me from allowing people and God into the depths of my heart which naturally effects my connection with them. It is hard inviting people to see my brokenness. When shame arrives I feel unworthy, I feel weak. I feel unworthy of love and connection which is the exact opposite of what is true. We must choose courage and believe we are worthy of love.
COURAGE comes from the Latin word cor which means HEART. The original definition of the word is
“To tell the story of who you are with your whole heart”
Brene Brown talks about people who live wholeheartedly have the courage to be imperfect, the compassion to be kind to themselves first and then others because we can’t practice compassion with other people if we can’t treat ourselves kindly. She also talks about how people who live wholeheartedly have connection that comes from authenticity. She found that, “They were willing to let go of who they thought they should be in order to be who they were, which you have to do in order to have connection.” Lastly, she says people who live wholeheartedly fully embrace vulnerability. “They believe what makes them vulnerable makes them beautiful.”
“Vulnerability is the core of shame, fear, and our struggle of worthiness but it is also the birthplace of joy, creativity, belonging, and love.”
All of us are imperfect and wired to fall short, but we are also worthy of love, connection, and belongingness.
We live in a culture that teaches us from a young age that performance is everything. We are a “doing” society that does not know how to rest and just be. Yet, Jesus depicts another picture for us. We have to believe we are enough because our Creator says we are enough. Our value and worth does not come from the things we do but who we are. And we are loved. When God looks at us, he sees his son, his perfect, blameless son because we are covered by the blood he spilled and the sacrifice he made for us. His mercy and grace trumps our short comings. Therefore, we have no reason to hold onto shame!
We have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness.
Romans 6:18
Although it is a journey I am still working through, I am reminded that vulnerability is necessary and part of a healthy whole hearted life. Jesus has been reminding me that I am completely safe to be vulnerable with him. He delights when we invite him into the deep places of our hearts and give him space to release freedom and love. We do not have to have it all together before approaching the Lord. Let him help you through your journey.
Vulnerability is risky when it involves people. To open my heart up or love someone wholeheartedly without any guarantee to be loved in return is scary but worth it.
I just got back from training camp two days ago and finally met the beautiful people I will be adventuring with the next 11 months. The World Race is going to challenge me in so many ways, and I realize that if I want a strong community while I am away, I have to choose grace, courage, and vulnerability in order for joy, love, and connection to blossom.
Today I am choosing to believe I am enough, worthy, and loved because the King of Heaven proclaims that over my life and I boldly encourage you to speak the same truths over your life.
Please pray for my team as we all continue to fundraise and prepare our hearts these next six weeks before launching October 5th. Can’t believe all 33 of these people will become family soon as we serve and embrace Kingdom living together.
As always, thank you to each and every one of you for supporting me in prayer and finances. I am so incredibly humbled by everyone’s contributions thus far. Praying blessings over you all!!
In His Love,
Ashley Livia
