I’m reading a book called “It’s not what you think”, by Jefferson Bethke. If you haven’t read any of his books, start with “Jesus>Religion”. It is some powerful stuff. In the book I’m currently reading, it talks about Jesus’ baptism. When he is baptized, He hears his Father’s voice thunder down from heaven declaring, “You are my beloved son; with you I am well pleased.”
Oh, how we all long to hear those words from our Heavenly Father as well as our earthly fathers. This made me begin to start reflecting on my own baptism. I was baptized as a young child, but in 2014 I went on my first mission trip to Brazil with two of my best friends, Chrissie and Ali. This trip was amazing and the people we met quickly became like family. All three of us and a few others decided to rededicate our lives to Christ and be baptized in the Amazon River. Over this last year God has been teaching me that you don’t fully understand the gravity of situations or decisions until later.
After Jesus’ baptism, God spoke those words over Jesus: “You are my beloved son; with you I am well pleased.” Bethke discusses that God was speaking Jesus’ identity over him. Jesus hadn’t started his ministry at this point his baptism occurred. This was when he began healing people and performing other miracles. But first, he immediately went into the wilderness to be alone with His Father.
As I look back on the last year of my life and making the decision to rededicate my life to God, He has been pruning and shaping my true identity that can be only be found in Him alone. I have longed for so many years to hear the words, “You are my beloved, with you I am well pleased” in every aspect of my life: family, friends, coaches, boyfriends… the list could go on. But I didn’t know that my Heavenly Father had already shaped my whole being around that truth… that I am His beloved and there is nothing in the past or future that can change that.
Since that decision and moment of making that outward declaration of being baptized by water, He has been crashing His love over every part of me. A quote from Bethke that I love is:
“The crazy thing about water is its able to get through every crack it encounters. It moves, changes shape, floods and permeates every little crevice. That’s how God loves.”
“Where there is even the slightest hint of surrender and release in our autonomy God’s healing love floods in.”
Let that sink in for a second. God is waiting for the slightest move from you so that He can come and bring His healing love over your life. But if I’m learning anything about God’s character, it is that He is a gentleman and He doesn’t force His way. He waits patiently at the door, for you to open it.
After being re-baptized, my life didn’t just all of a sudden radically change. I still fell into the old ways of sin that I struggled with before, such as partying or longing to receive affirmation from others to tell me my worth. But I began the journey back to my Heavenly Father’s heart. I moved back to Atlanta and started my first job as a social worker, helping at-risk youth and families. God used this job to give me a greater perspective on what’s important in life. It opened my eyes to all the ways I took the many blessings in my life for granted, while the families I was working with struggled with abuse, poverty, and health issues.
My heart started to deeply desire new ways to help these families, which opened me up to doing more workshops and training. As I was learning these new techniques to help my clients, they were actually changing and healing me. Later that year, God opened the door for me to go to the Passion Conference, which awakened a new side of God to me. That same week, I was introduced to a Holy Spirit-filled church called Grace-Midtown. During these experiences I heard and felt God tell me, “ You are deeply loved more than you can imagine.”
Just as Jesus went into the wilderness with God after His baptism, that’s exactly what I did. I went on a personal and unique journey with God to build a relationship with God. At the time, did I know that is what was happening? No. But God did, and He perfectly orchestrated each step to win my heart because He knows each of His beloved children are so unique and need a separate journey that they can call theirs, with God.
Something I heard back at church that has stuck with me is: “Are you willing to climb the mountain to see God’s face for yourself, or are you okay with just hearing about others’ experiences of seeing God face to face?” We all have a choice of what kind of relationship we have with God. Do you want the personal unique adventure up the mountain, or do you just want to stay put and try to experience Him through someone else?
This last year on the race has felt like being in the wilderness at times. It was hard, I wanted to go home throughout the year, I cried, and the devil tempted me. But I can happily say that I wouldn’t exchange this last year in the wilderness with God for anything. It has launched me into my true identity and ministry. The race never really ends, but what I have found is that life isn’t about the destination… it is about the journey and living it day by day, pursuing God’s heart. That is where the lasting blessings are.
As most of you know, I will be squad leading a new World Race Squad from October through February. To walk in obedience of this next season, this requires me to fundraise again.
Please consider partnering with me through donations and prayers. This journey isn’t one that I can do alone. Your prayers and donations help other’s encounter the Father’s love around the world.
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Thank you so much for all of your constant love and support over this last year and next year to come!
