A lot of people have asked me how my family is taking the news that I’ll be gone for 11 months. I decided to let my mom tell you for herself. Guest blog post!
Ashley asked me to write something on how a mom feels when their child signs up to go on this crazy World Race Mission Trip…how does this mom feel about her child going around the world to minister to “the least of these?” It’s deeper than that, I don’t think this will only last 11 months, I think this will be a lifetime. Well I could focus on the uneasy feelings I have…the realization that my daughter will not be at the other end of the phone whenever I want/need to talk to her, the realization that my daughter will not be here to build memories with us on holidays, birthdays or just when I want to spend the day with her… yes, you now are realizing the only uneasy feelings I have are all selfish! Selfishly, I would like Ashley to get married to a wonderful man, who loves his mother-in-law; they would live in our neighborhood with a white picket fence in the front yard. They would live close enough that our grandchildren could walk to visit their grandpa and mammy along with their dog, Buttercup, who would be a gentle golden retriever… ok, I’m dreaming, that is not the life God has planned for Ashley, or for us.
I read a blog written by Ashley’s pastor, Joe Coffey (joecoffeytalk.com) it is titled, “Coming and Going”. I couldn’t have said it better on how I feel…
“…Coming is first. The heart must open first. The day you hold a baby in your arms your heart opens as wide as it was made to open. It can be no other way. The rest of your life you are feeling the pain of a child going in tiny stages. The first time you leave the child with a sitter. The first time you watch the school bus pull away with the little face pressed up against the window. The first time they pull away in the driver’s seat of a car. And finally the first time you realize home is somewhere else for them.
What they may or may not know is that your heart never closes so every time they visit they are coming home because you made a home for them in your heart the day you held them for the first time.
I say it’s the rhythm of life because it originated with Jesus. Jesus calls every one of us to himself first.. He bids us to come to him and he opens his heart as wide as a heart can open. Eventually Jesus sends each of us out. “Go and tell, Go and be my disciples” he says. And we go.
But make no mistake; his heart never closes because Jesus made a home inside himself for us.
When I think of my love for my children I’m reminded of the love of Jesus. My love is like a candle compared to the blazing glory of the sun itself. So today I bring the echo of my heart to the heart of the one whose love for me is better than life. Coming and going. It’s the rhythm of my life and I would want it no other way.”
Thanks Pastor Coffey… you looked into my heart.
When I told my friend, Rebecca, about Ashley’s mission trip, I told her, “maybe she will meet a man.” Rebecca replied with so much wisdom, “She already did.” Amen, she did and his name is Jesus. He will be everything she needs.
I know what it feels like to live in the will of God and I know what it feels like to live outside the will of God. If my children know what they are born to do and I stand in their way because of my selfish desires… how sad that would be?! I praise God that Ashley is being faithful to the call God has put on her life, even if it takes her miles away she knows that she’ll always have a home in my heart. I could not imagine not supporting her. May God bless you, my child, in this stage of your life!
-Madre.
Proverbs 3: 5 & 6
Thanks for writing this Madre’. Now I know you wish to be called Mammy by your grandchildren, I love it! Know that this isn’t an easy transition for family. It’s hard on the Racers as well but having a family that supports you no matter what makes it a lot easier. I’m glad my family can see that I’m just answering the call God has placed on my heart.
