I once heard a beautifully simple piece of advice given over the radio to a heartbroken young woman. Her discouraged plea for direction was answered with a calm and confident response. “Maybe sweet child, God does not want you to give every ounce of your love to one person right now, but to many, many more.”
Growing up I was guilty of being a die hard hopeless romantic. I was the whole package. My joy came from over-watching each and every Nicholas Sparks film, and destroying each novel with a highlighter. I googled the symbolism behind movies and annoyed family and friends with the entire rundown. Simply put, I loved love. The vulnerability, the loss of control, the passion, and the power it possesses to make one better.
So when a real life love story snuck into my life at a young high school age, I was as good as gone. I was hooked on the beauty of it all. And from that day I assumed my entire existence was based on finding “my other half”.
As I aged, my windy journey with God taught me about love, but in a grander aspect. Much grander than the romanticized love I was fantasizing and planning out in my mind. I learned through many beautiful experiences that love produced from a relationship is temporary, which means the fulfillment and joy it offers is fleeting as well. We grieve when we do not yet have it, and we grieve when it is gone. It is a dangerous and silly act for us to hook our entire life purpose and hope onto a love that can move or die out.
It is no easy habit to follow; training our minds not to seek out humanly love like its our job, despite the fact that we are programmed to desire it. When we learn to seek out the unbudging and grace-filled love that surrounds our God, we learn that our joy, fulfillment, and peace are immovable as well.
This of course does not mean we still don’t think about it.
It is pretty impossible to not think, plan, and hope for a companion, even when we are satisfied by the very best love within us- God’s love. The timeline surrounding us is always there, pestering us with reminders of our next expected step: to find that person. Some of us spend so much time and energy searching and wanting love, that we settle into the first thing that comes to us, simply to know we are one step closer to our happy ending.
Before submitting my application for the world race, I knew there would be innumerable sacrifices I would have to make along the way, one in specific being especially difficult to live with: Risking the well-thought-out, 8-year-in-progress happy ending I had planned out with someone I loved deeply.
As many of us may have to do at one point or another, I had to pick and choose which regret I would be able to live with, and which would keep me up at night.
And sure enough, after making this decision, I lost that happy ending. But I was confident and at ease, knowing that I will never regret going on an adventure with God, over following my own heart.
We cannot go only halfway in if we want to experience God in full, including the consuming joy and peace He offers. Going all in means we may be asked by God to be flexible and ready to move. Maybe to painfully leave behind plans, relationships, habits, and comforts, in order to be unattached fully.
Some of us are given the important job to use our heart’s entire capacity to love one person or few powerfully.
For others, God takes their capacity to love and stretches it to its widest potential, so they can wrap that love around those who are unloved and unreached across borders.
“Maybe sweet child, God does not want you to give every ounce of your love to one person right now, but to many, many more.”
