the [foul] stench in my nose

What is that smell?

It’s not foul enough.

that suffocating sent…. is it the fish and other sea creatures dried in the market?
Smelly -but no.

maybe I can’t smell it.

We walk into a town, a temple, someone’s home and there’s something there. I hear my teammates voice it, this thing called ‘spiritual heaviness’ – it’s a phrase I’ve heard plenty before. Growing up in church and a home with christian parents provided me knowledge of this jargon.

I’ve seen and I’ve heard that this ‘heaviness’ can cripple people, make them scared, or inspire and call them to rise to the occasion casting things out and such.

But I don’t have this. No. Instead I’m left like a stroke victim in my spirit, unable to move a muscle and crack a smile, gasp, or scowl.

I always resolved to the fact that God makes each of us different and maybe He just made me a non-feeler of these spiritual things. But then I found myself on this World Race where people speak in tongues regularly, where proposing healing is a common solution to problems and people sense demons and spirits of oppression in all sorts.

What He did, was nothing.

[short sidebar] Asking God for things is always an interesting matter, it’s often viewed and spoken about in varying ways. You could read many a christian or non-christian book on the subject and gain numerous opinions about His responses or lack of.
The way I see it, God hears us always and I think He always answers. The answer may not be what we want – no or wait ring a few bells. And then there’s the fact that it’s not just God out there in the spiritual realm, we have an enemy too don’t you forget. And he just loves to throw doubt and disappointment in our minds the moment we don’t hear what we expect to from God or think we don’t hear Him at all. The author John Eldridge writes about this idea with the label ‘agreements’ in his book Walking with God. We make them in ourselves when we think God has failed us, consciously or subconsciously and maybe with the enemy’s prompting. Then we hold ourselves to the agreements we’ve made, blocking us from God in many ways, destructive ways.

Back to my current spiritual issues, I tried to be as conscious as possible to really seek God on the matter, make sure not to let in any agreements or start comparing. Once you play either of these games, you’ve already lost. But I had a few people prophesy over me that I would be discovering new ways of God using me – there has, by large, been a focus on my talents and creativity, now was the time for God to bring other things out – so they said. I thought great, ok God, do dis thang.

Still, nothing.

We are all different and function as such in the body of Christ. Different skills, different gifts, different voices for the variety of people we find ourselves to be in the big world God made.