LOVE changed my life

After our first encounter, it only takes a few days, maybe even a few minutes
before I hear the reoccurring words “Ashley I can’t EVER picture you angry…I’m sure you do get angry at times I just can’t imagine it”.

My first thought in response is: “and you don’t want to…trust me”

OR after talking about a few stories in my life I hear “wow I can’t believe that was you!”

My first thought in response: “..you just don’t know me well enough, just wait”

Allow me to rewind a moment, and tell you a little about me.

Growing up, if someone took your spot on the couch or in the car, said something snide, turned the radio station when you were listening to your favorite song,… or basically did anything you deemed wrong or offensive, you then had every “right” to pull out your “dirty laundry list” of everything they’ve ever done to you and

When someone said something bad to a friend, I was the first one to back ’em up. My mouth was pretty good at spitting fire and tearing people down with my oh SO witty {add a dash of harsh and snide} sarcasm. Not to mention, too prideful to ever say sorry or admit that I was wrong. I had the last word and was certain of it.

Sure, I listened well, gave nice advice, did well in school, attended church, did good things, and didn’t get in too much trouble. Overall, I was a good kid. And on the outside I looked pretty nice and innocent and incapable of having any mean bone in my body….until you pressed a “button”. I harbored feelings like a pop can constantly shaken only waiting for that last shake that makes it explode, everywhere.

UNTIL…. I encountered Jesus. 

Or rather, Jesus’ love encountered me 

and captivated my heart in a way I never thought possible. 

And when we experience the love of God, inevitably, that will bring change in our lives.

The “I can’t ever imagine you angry” Or “I can’t believe that was you”

Well, it was the last day in Thailand. I had finished packing and cleaning. 

My teammates were finishing up their things and we were to all congregate in the living room when finished to leave. So, I just started to read God’s Word (the Bible) and just sit in His presence and talk with Him (pray). He reminded me of some things my teammates had encouraged me with; truth about who I am. 

And then he reminded me of those ever so nasty thoughts of mine in response to people who just “can’t believe or imagine” me a particular way that I once was. 

Catch that? …that I ONCE was. 

Jesus ever so gently reminded me of that. That’s not WHO I AM today. It’s who I once was that had those characteristics of being quick to anger, to judge and to speak harshly. 

I have been renewed, transformed, redeemed.

It’s a good thing that people “can’t imagine me” that way anymore… it means that I’ve changed and don’t carry those things anymore. Sure, those ugly characteristics, among others in my life, might rear its ugly head back into my life at times, but the point is it’s not WHO I am. 

So here’s to walking in newness and redemption.