one week from today i will have walked across the stage, signed the last paper, aced the last final, and packed up the last box. i will hop into my little red ford focus and make the 47 mile drive home. i’ll probably sit down and have a nice cup of coffee with my grandma before i start unpacking my life as it has been up until now. a season in my life will officially end and i’ll begin my post-college life. as excited as i am about the world race and every new, challenging, and wonderful thing that is on the horizon during the many years to come, i cannot help but feel some sense of loss at leaving evangel. i know it sounds hyper-emotional [and it probably is]. but, evangel has been for me a family, a support system, and a place of spiritual renewal and growth over the past four years. next friday will be a hard day. but a happy day at the same time.
last week i had the privilege of attending a communications department banquet. this event was for anyone who has majored in this department. my classmates whom i have grown to know over the past few years along with my departmental professors met in the caf on a wednesday morning for punch, cookies, and recognitions. we also said goodbye.
i have not been particularly close to anyone in my department so i didn’t really think too much about what kind of effect the morning would have on me. one by one dr. pace started calling people up to the front to discuss their future plans and one by one they would go through a receiving line of sorts. we laughed, mrs. pace-miller cried [as always], and it was a good time. after every person went through the line we all opened up our gift. i was expecting a business card holder. i’m not exactly sure why, but that’s what i was preparing for. well, i opened up the skinny black box to find a pen. this is where my (pen)undrum begins…
the pen is a very nice pen. engraved on the side is “evangel university communication alumnus.” for some reason this pen has been freaking me out. i don’t use nice pens. what do people with ‘alumnus’ pens do? they have real jobs, and real lives, and bills, and kids, and no fun. they don’t live in college dorm rooms anymore. they don’t stay up until 2am with their best friends talking about absolutely nothing. people with ‘alumnus’ pens are professional. they wear suits, not sweats. and then…it hit me.
i have an alumnus pen. i am that person.
and i am SO NOT ready.
i’ve decided to put my pen into it’s cushioned box and tuck it away until it’s really useful. until i can really appreciate what it signifies for my life and for my future. i know all of this sounds really crazy, but it’s where i’m at. i’m in a place where i don’t want to accept change and the fact that ‘the best is yet to come’ because this is the best i’ve ever known. throughout the past few weeks and all of my emotional chaos the lord has [as always] proved himself faithful. i’ve been both convicted and comforted. it’s been a big growing experience for me. as hard as the upcoming weeks and months will be for me, i am so excited for the challenge of faith it presents to me. i’m excited to meet my new new family in less than a month, and i’m beyond grateful for the past four years at evangel, the friends i have made, the professors who have mentored me, and the way in which my relationship with the lord has developed.
thanks for reading about my (pen)undrum. i just needed get all of this in writing.
blessings, my friends.
