Turning FEAR into BEAUTY

I was packed, said all my goodbyes, cried for hours over leaving my family, got on the plane at 3am to head to Chicago.  I was ‘ready’ for launch!   I was ready to leave the country and start my world race.

I really enjoyed spending time with my new family, Tharseo! For an example: walking a mile or so on the highway to buy food for our team for the week. Only realizing that the Credit Cards we received didn’t work, the grocery store was as big as my bedroom and we had to walk back with all this food we just bought!  Probably one of the best times I have had.
Our J squad was once again united!  It was almost like we had never left each other and we were ready to get on a plane and start our Journey.  One thing I appreciate is that we can be REAL with one another.   Surround each other as we cry out and praise God. 

I loved every minute.  The only problem was; I felt like on Saturday I would be flying back to wonderful Denver, Colorado instead of the unknown of the DR.  I didn’t have any strong excitement but I also wasn’t nervous.   I was just in Chicago.  I’m usually full of emotion but for some reason my emotions were on pause.  

Then it kind of fell apart!  Our wonderful team leader Claire told us Friday morning where we are going to be going and what we will be doing.  The only problem was…..we were left with more questions, concerns and wonder then before we knew. 

We aren’t going to an actually city….just near the Haitian border!
Not really sure where we will be staying…either in our tents or a room
Our description for our ministry….Relationships/Hardcore!  
WHAT IN THE WORLD!!!!!!!

I instantly started to doubt if I could handle this trip.  What does “hardcore” mean!   Is this going to be safe?  Once those thoughts started…I started questioning everything else.  Can I really handle being the team treasurer, can I really live out of a backpack for 11 months!  All those chains that I thought I left at training camp were dragging me down again!   I started crying every time I started thinking about going!  I knew I had to give it to God….but how!  Fear was taking over….and fast!

That night I went into our session stressed!  We just had a Finance meeting and I learned that I didn’t have the right excel program.  Awesome!!!!  As I was downloading the new program, worship started.  We started singing with an Ipod and I started breaking down.  The song “You Make Beautiful Things” played and my heart broke.  God told me that as long as He is in charge, He will make everything out of dust beautiful!  He just has to touch it and it will be made new!