In 8 hours I get on a big airplane and head to launch!
Yep, the time has finally come and there is no looking back! I have spent the last 3 days packing and repacking at least a dozen times. I have said many goodbyes and shed countless tears.
I am loved by more people then I could have imagined. The people in my life (both family and friends) have supported me financially, prayerfully and emotionally. They have all listened to me talk about this trip for months on end and never once did they turn me away or tell me that this was a bad idea. I know that I am leaving a strong team of supporters behind and I can face anything with them on my side! I am going to miss every single person so much!
This trip is not possible without God on my side. There is no way a normal human being would quit their job, sell their car, cancel credit cards, cancel their phone, pack up all their belongings and live out of a backpack and leave everything up to God. But I am SOOOO ready! I haven’t even left yet and the thought of not being tied down to ‘stuff’ feels refreshing. Now don’t get me wrong…I enjoyed all those things but they had become ‘my god!’ I pushed my relationship with my Heavenly Father to the side and forgot what is important. This year is going to be ruff but NOTHING is impossible with God and I’m excited to learn to fully rely on Him!
Packing for 11 months is harder than it looks. I had an expectation that everything that I wanted to bring would definitely fit inside my awesome backpack! But as packed and repacked, taking things out that weren’t going to fit no matter what I did…I realized I shouldn’t have expected so much. It’s still hard to look at the huge pile of things I wanted to bring that is now in a box that will stay in lovely Colorado. I have read many blogs of past and current racers telling future racers that they will over pack and that they won’t need half the stuff they bring! I believe and trust them…but I’m not there yet! I am praying my mindset on this subject is going to change fast!
I am completely nervous and scared out of my mind. Now I am excited and eager to be leaving on this journey and to explore what God has in store for me. I can’t wait to live with my new family and experience life with them. BUT I am also terrified of the unknown, to step out of my comfort zone and to become vulnerable. I don’t want to say my final goodbyes to my family tomorrow. God has definitely been working on my heart these last few days and I have learned that it is okay to feel these emotions. They are normal!! I just can’t let them consume me and get in the way of God’s purpose for me. I need to remember I AM GOING TO BE OK!
