Uncomfortable: causing or feeling unease or awkwardness.
I’ve embraced my inner free spirit on the race. I love it. No plans. Just going – wherever I’m told and doing whatever I’m asked. Patience is key. Waiting is common. It’s a beautiful ride.
Last Sunday, April 15 was Easter in Bulgaria. We all hopped in the van and drove to a church that we knew nothing about. As we drove, I began to wonder if our contacts knew about it because we stopped 5-6 times to ask people on the street where it was.
On the drive there, I was listening to my Ipod. “Spirit Speaks” by All Sons & Daughters came on.
Now, I’m a firm believer in spiritual matters being manifested in physical experiences. I think Poppa was preparing my heart in that moment, through that song, for a great lesson in “seeing” – with His delicate, pure, and clear vision. A great lesson was in store for me.
Upon arrival, things were…different. The people were…different. The smell was…different. The atmosphere…different. I found a seat with my team on the right side of the room – squished and distracted by the translation going on behind me.
I can’t tell you much about what that service was about. But what I can tell you is that I believe that Poppa was in that room that day. Probably sitting in the front, behind the drum set, with one leg crossed over the other, and his hands intertwined around the front of his knee with a sweet smile of longing on his face.
Fast-forward a week. We’re currently staying at a conference center. We found out that a conference for businessmen would be happening on Friday, April 20th and we had to leave.
Friday rolled around, we loaded up the van, and followed the same path we had the Sunday prior. Down curvy, one-lane, cobblestone roads, we drove. Guess what? We got lost again. The first 4 people we stopped to ask for directions from were women. Men were driving. I giggled a little inside. By the 8th person, we’d found our way.
Arrived at the church.
This photo and the ones to follow are credited to: Charlene Geddes
We arrived at the church – same people; same smell, same atmosphere. We were told that we could set our stuff down but that we had to leave and could return at 5pm. It was about 11:30am. Wow.
As we proceeded to leave, our contact told me that this church outreaches to homeless people. They stay in the apartment adjacent to the church…I was staying in the apartment adjacent to the church…
Our room.
Sitting room.
I was living with homeless people for the weekend.
I was…homeless?
The people. The smell. The atmosphere. I was living with homeless people.
Uncomfortable.
I spent the weekend doing a lot of waiting, eating a lot of pizza, and dreaming about things outside of this reality I was living in.
Fast-forward to Sunday morning. Kip, Char, Kev, and I ventured out to a coffee shop we’d spent a lot of time at for some coffee, (of course) free WIFI, and quite a delectable hot chocolate had by me. Distractions surrounded me. My bible, which I had intended to read before church, became neglected.
Around 9:45, we gathered our stuff and headed back to the church for service. As we entered the building, our eyes were directed to the same spot we’d set the previous week – our contact was sitting there, so naturally we followed suit.
As we sat down, we were told that we’d be singing a song and sharing a testimony. Saweet. My guitar was at home. Acapella? Sure thing. We decided on 220 classic, Prince of Peace. The only thing left to decide on? Who would share? As my eyes shifted about the room, noticing the faces of the congregation, my thoughts immediately fell on Kip. So I spoke up and said, “Kip, I think you should do it”. She consented.
We sat down. My eyes roamed the room. The people. The smell. The atmosphere. Something was different.
In that moment, I felt strong senses of prosperity – a longing for something more to life. My eyes lingered on my “weekend roommate”, Nadia. She’s homeless. My eyes fell on a girl standing in front of Kev that from the outsides appeared to be ailed by a physical condition. And from her my eyes jumped to a tall, tanned skinned, grey-haired man. He’s homeless. And behind him set a man severely hunched back and pale.
Uncomfortable.
Our time came to “shine”. We walked to the front of the room, sang our song, and Kip began her story. She shared about her niece Laynie who was a miracle baby. Doctor’s said that Laynie didn’t have a chance at life. The “odds weren’t in her favor”. Kip explained that through God's great grace and mercy, Laynie lived two beautiful years on this earth.
Kip’s translated words touched the hearts of many present. Tears fell from once hardened faces. Prosperity? No, Poppa, mercy.
Remember my bible that I neglected earlier that morning? Well, as we went back to our seats, it beckoned me. I picked it up and it fell open to Psalm 123.
“Behold, as the eyes of servants look to the hand of their master,
as the eyes of a maidservant to the hand of her mistress,
so our eyes look to the Lord our God,
till he has mercy upon us” (vs. 2).
Wow.
The people. The smell. The atmosphere. Through it all, He was there – watching me "see" through His eyes mercy and the message of "longing".
Kip shared a story that “defied all odds”. Many of these people’s lives are testaments to “defying the odds”. Homelessness, physical ailments, or distractions, they’re still God’s children. They don’t need prosperity because they are gripped tightly in Poppa’s hand. Their cry? Mercy.
Who am I to judge them? Or be disgusted by them? Why am I "uncomfortable" around them?
The people. The smell. The atmosphere.
Jesus lived amongst these people. He did life with them. He showered them with mercy.
This weekend, my heart grew a few sizes bigger. I am uncomfortable.
"With every breath I breathe, with every song I sing
wanna shout it out Lord, I am listening
To every word you speak,
I’ll go where you will lead
To love the least of these, is my greatest offering"
"Spirit Speaks" by All Sons & Daughters
Us with Nadia, our roommate.
