Sometimes the Lord takes you to places you’ve never been to teach you things about other people to expand your worldview and to call you into higher places. And sometimes He takes you to places you’ve never been to show you things about your character and sinful nature that disgust Him. Things that you would never realize about yourself when you’re immersed in your own “everyday habitual world”. And sometimes He calls you to places you’ve never been to do both of these things. I would say that the latter sums up my time in China.
I started reading the book “The Heavenly Man” before entering China and finished it within the first week of being there. I definitely recommend this book if you plan on doing any type of missions work there, but I would advise you to proceed with caution. I had many nightmares because of this book – however, it is full of truth and opened my eyes to the reality of Christianity in this dark country.
This book brought me to John 12:24-25, “Truly, truly I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. Whoever loves his life loses it, and whoever hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life”. This is true to the way “spiritual fruit” is born in China. This book is all about a Chinese missionary and the persecution he experienced by sharing the gospel. One particular section near the end of the book was my absolute favorite. He says, “Jesus taught me many lessons when I was a seed buried in the prison. I have found the Christian life is not glamorous to the flesh. When a little seed is put into the ground it is not comfortable. It lies in the dark in isolation of rough soil for months, suffers in the frozen ground of winter and the heat of summer, and is even covered with stinking manure and fertilizer. Only after it has silently endured all these trails is the seed ready to spring to life and produce a harvest that will feed many. When a seed is buried in the ground it has no choice but to wait patiently for God’s time for it to spring to life”.
This passage from this book correlates perfectly to what I experienced this past month looking through the eyes of the Lord into this country. The Lord took Team LOL and me to a little small town where the gospel had never really been preached and no missionaries had really graced the land in a deep pursuit of the gospel. We spent many days simply prayer walking throughout the town. A monastery was there and three of the girls would go and walk the prayer walk every day. The Lord gave two of the girls a vision of putting scrolls in the walls of the monastery with bible verses and “Jesus loves you” on them. God sent the other two of us to a café to simply speak English to tourists, take their orders, and share life with them and perhaps Jesus when the opportunity presented itself.
My ministry this month became a bright young girl of 20 years old at a bakery that we visited every day. We’ll call her “Destiny”. I wrote letters to her in Chinese with the help of a friend at the café. I asked her questions about her life, about her dreams, and the things that she enjoyed. This was a very unique exchange because I couldn’t speak Chinese nor write it and she couldn’t speak English nor write it nor could she write Chinese. I always had to find someone to translate her Chinese notes. And she always had to find someone to write Chinese notes back to me. I wasn’t able to share the gospel with her, but I trust that through our exchanges, the spirit of the Lord graced her soul and a seed was planted. Now my prayer is that the Lord will bring someone into her life that speaks her language to water the seed that was planted so that fruit may be borne in her life. Destiny- she’s “not destined for wrath, but to obtain salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ” (1 Thessalonians 5:9).
My ministry also became a genuine, tenderhearted 28-year-old Chinese man. We’ll call him “Seek”. I met him on the street by way of another police officer. If you think logistically about this situation, everything seems off. A missionary, who’s not “supposed” to be in the country, befriending a police officer…it just doesn’t line up.
Seek was sitting in a van full of officers and immediately jumped out and hurried to us. He was eager to speak English and learn all about our lives. From there, I ended up teaching him English every night from 7pm-9pm with Rachel and Maggie. I loved every minute of it. He came straight from work every day, exhausted but eager to learn. We met him in a hotel café, where we often found him studying his vocabulary words we had given him the day prior as we arrived. He was precious in every sense of the word. The Lord put his salvation heavily on my heart every time we met with him. God gave me a vision of Seek in the United States simply living life. I could see him in all the same places I had lived for the past three years. I could see Seek walking around the hallways at Mason. Come to find out, one of his biggest dreams is to go to America and study English or business. With that simple bit of knowledge, I contacted my university and got information to begin his enrollment process. I wrote out a list of all the things he has to do to prepare for university in America, the first being taking the TOEFL exam.
During our last visit with Seek, Rachel and I shared the gospel with him. The Lord opened up the door perfectly for this conversation. He asked me, “What will you do when you return back to America? What is your job now as you’re traveling?” It was then that we “outted” ourselves with the real reason as to why we’re in China. I shared with him that my hearts desire is to share the best part of my life with people like him. That I love him enough to share the greatest gift I have ever received. And that for the rest of my life, I will serve the Lord in this way. I wrote Romans 10:13-17 out in his notebook as a remembrance as to why I do what I do.
A year ago, Seek’s English teacher from New Zealand gave him a bible and begged him to read it. He had read a couple pages, but left it at home when he moved into his dormitory at the police station. He continuously said that he was simply “curious” about Christianity, but that was the beginning and end of it. It was then that the Lord gave me the verse, “You have said, seek my face. My heart says to you, your face, Lord, do I seek” (Psalm 27:8). It is my biggest prayer that he will seek out his dream and in that he will find the Lord and be saved.
Our last night in our town, we all went out to dinner with Seek. Afterwards, we walked him back home to his dorm, and he invited us to come and see his room. We went up with him. Before we left, Shannon shared the gospel with him again. The Lord had put it on her heart to give him the extra bible she had been carrying around. She had written Psalm 37:4 in the front cover: “Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart”. We asked Seek if we could pray over him. Emotions flooded the room as the five of us stood around him and spoke the voice of the Lord into his life for the first time. I firmly believe that our hands that touched his shoulders that night actually touched his heart with the spirit of God. The tears that were shed left the fragrance of Jesus’ presence in his room. When I see Seek in the United States, I am confident that I will not only be able to rejoice in his “new life” but in his spiritual ”new life”.
And that was China. The Lord took me personally through a season of brokenness. He showed me the importance of listening to His voice on October 22nd. That obedience with action is more pleasing to the Lord than simply hearing His voice. He called me to fast for 7 days on October 22nd. He spoke “a new, you are anew” over my heart and plunged me into a new season of growth and refinement. He called me to surrender my prayer life, leadership and selfishness on October 23rd. On October 27th, He convicted me of idols in my life through reading “Counterfeit Gods” by Timothy Keller with the words; “Jesus must be more beautiful to your imagination, more attractive to your heart than your idol”. And, He called me to a life of simplicity. He spoke the word “trust” over me on October 29th. He said, “trust me, simply trust me”. Not just “Yes, God I trust you” but “Yes, God I trust you through the end. Even if you don’t “respond” to me when I think you should, I will still trust you through the end”. Refinement is still occurring. The Lord is still breaking things off of me that are outside of the character and outside of the plan that He has for my life. I’m in a place of surrender, excited to see the greater depths that the Lord will take me to throughout the rest of this year.
Thanks for partnering along with me. I am SO thankful for all of my supporters! This year wouldn’t be possible without you! Thanks for your prayers and all of your gifts :] I pray that the Lord will bless you in abundance.
Me & Seek
