What do you think when you hear the word missionary ?
This is a question we asked some of the high school kids this month and it made me think of what I thought when I heard the word “missionary”
The words that come to mind are : perfect, proper and having it all figured out .
But the reality is we are : broken , imperfect , and our lives are messy .
This month has been one of the hardest months of my life , learning to live with strangers and make them family , to teach children of all ages, to speak in front of churches , lead worship , tell bible stories ,and speak the truth even when it’s hard hasn’t been easy .
It sounds so cheesy but In my mind the minute I got to Africa I would be different , I would know how to preach a sermon , speak to teenagers about the hard stuff and have a super strong relationship with God .
Reality check , that didn’t happen …..
After one month here I can honestly say I’ve grown a lot , I’ve seen healings, spoken in classrooms and churches and been very out of my comfort zone ! But much of this happened without me ever asking God for his opinion .
I didn’t “feel ” him so I stopped seeking him , I wasn’t asking for him to show up because I felt I was doing good on my own . I mean I should have this all figured out right?
Well we had to speak at a church this past Sunday and I finally asked God what I should speak about and he gave me Matthew 6:33 “seek first my kingdom and his righteousness and all these things will be given to you as well”
This hit me to my core , because the reality is I’ve been seeking his blessings , his miracles, all the good stuff and not seeking him and all of who he is . He doesn’t require much from us other than to seek him above all else .
Another verse that has spoken to me this weekend is 2 Corinthians 5:7 ” for we walk by faith not by sight “ the reality is it’s easier to follow God when we feel him , but it’s so much more rewarding to do so when we don’t . He asks us to trust him even when it doesn’t all add up and to walk by faith . I don’t want my faith to be based on feelings I want it to be on the truth of who he is .
Honestly this blog has been hard for me to write because most of us are great actors, we like for people to think everything is okay when it’s not , we like for people to think we have it all together . But the reality is we are all broken in different ways we all screw up . But how are we ever going to move forward if we don’t let people in , if we don’t let people hold us accountable
I’ve noticed in my life the more I let people in on my problems the more they let me in on theirs and I want that . I want to be that person .
So no I am not perfect , I’m a very imperfect missionary doing her best to love people the way Jesus asks us to and continuing to cultivate a relationship with him.
please pray for me and my team as we start our journey this week to durban , then head over to Botswana a few days later . Pray for safe travels, and healthy bodies on all the 4 buses we are taking .
Also pray for the finances of me and my teammates , most of us are still in need of funds to to reach our deadline of $13000 by February 29th . Please pray that God would provide the finances. I’m believing he has brought us here for a great purpose and he’s asking us to ask him for what we need, he wants to provide of us but we need to ask . So please partner with me in prayer for all of our financial needs.
