I will never forget what it did to my heart the first time He told me He loved me and I actually believed Him. I will never forget what it felt like the first time I told Him I loved Him as it shouted from every single corner of my heart. And I will never forget the first time I heard Him speak to me, every time since that I have felt Him walk into a room.
Oh, when He walks into a room.
The first time I felt Him walk into a room was the day I encountered Him and gave Him my heart for forever. Sitting on the edge of my green duvet in the basement with drop ceilings and painted brick walls, He walked into my bedroom and asked me for my heart and life. And I said, yes.
Months later, after a wild and mind-blowing collision with the power of Holy Spirit that left my knees weak and my heart wrecked, He walked into my math class filled with yawning students and scribbled upon textbooks. And it was as if He showed up just because He wanted to, just because He could, just to make me smile, just to show me that He loved me.
And I began to fall in love.
Photo by: Casey Liu
Times when I have messed up, stripping myself off my bedroom floor, as He lifts my chin and gazes into my eyes and tells me that despite everything my head screams at me, He, this King, still loves me. Times when I have been surrounded by the chaos of family, trust violated, change all-consuming, emotions flying, people breaking; He shows up with a sweet and holy hush. Times when I have stood with a microphone below my chin, my knees shaking and my heart aching for Him to come and He does and He speaks, lifting me up into a holy possession, and I am left undone.
He has never stopped walking into every room I have ever been a part of, ever been inside.
And sometimes, I just wait for it, sometimes I just wait for Him to walk into the room. Everything changes when He does. Everything. And when He does, it is like suddenly you can just see it, know it, feel it, taste it; that He is there and He has a dream in His heart. He wants to love some people, He wants to hug some people, He wants to speak to some hearts, He wants to heal some frail bodies, He wants to bring some hope back. Sometimes in me and sometimes in someone else.
And in those sweet and beautiful moments, we get to say yes.
Yes.
It is almost like sometimes He is just waiting for someone to see it and say yes. To stop and see it. And that as we lay down our gods of our own plans and desires and ambitions, as we lay down our checking-out or I-don't-care-anymore and we just pause and we just wait.
We just wait for Him to walk into the room.
And as a Dad, I think that just messes up His heart, that we waited for Him. Not even because we thought we had to or because someone made us, but because we wanted Him to come. Because our hearts have been undone by His love and we are left hungry and wanting for the fullness of His Kingdom come.
Can we be those people? Can we be the sons and daughters who see by the Spirit when Jesus is walking into a room to heal, or to set free, or just to love, and to be those who say yes, and who become that physical extension of His heart? The hands, the voice, the beating heart.
I am still in need of around $1200 to launch in September and I am consistently looking for those who would partner monthly. If you feel a tug on your heart, would you donate on the left hand menu or send me an email at [email protected].
