I'll just start by saying that I never once thought that the World Race would be easy. I didn't think it would be a year long vacation with a bunch of people I would become life long friends with, take lots of pictures at important places around the world, and come home saying I accomplished something. No, I certainly did not think that for a second, but I also never thought it would be this hard.
You see, when I left America, my home, my bed, my family, my job…I knew I was giving up a lot. Well I thought I was.But it didn't cross my mind that all that I was giving up wouldn't be close to enough. I've sped through the past three months looking to learn about myself in Christ. Looking to find this identity that everyone keeps talking about. I read book on top of book and asked as many questions as I could and tried my hardest to retain it all. I thought I was doing pretty darn good. Ask me a question and I will give you a well studied answer and be proud of it…but was I practicing what I preached?
Building a beautiful structure on top of a poorly built foundation isn't going to make the building any stronger. At some point that grand ole building you have with its streak-free windows of clarity and its shiny gold knobs of wisdom and knowledge is going to crash to the ground with a shaky foundation. And nothing is left to do but rebuild it.
You cant accomplish what you are called to, you cant find your identity in Christ, you cant give up enough "stuff" in your life if you still have walls between you and God. If you aren't looking straight at Him how will you know which way to turn when you reach that so inconveniently placed fork in the road?
So there I was, going into my fourth month of the race and it was like I had taken all the architecture classes I could possibly find, graduated, patted myself on the back but still missed the first step when I was drawing the blueprints. I had started by just building on what I had, learning and creating but never looking at what my life was to start with, why I needed to find what identity was in the first place. And by the time the hard truth wrecking ball came crashing through my freshly painted walls I wasn't anywhere near prepared for the domino affect left in its quake.
So maybe this is where my world race begins. On a farm in Cambodia, with a brand new team, and an empty lot to start rebuilding. Everything's abandoned, my heart is open, and I'm completely present.
