Part 1: Written on November 27
Here in Ethiopia, there are so many people that live on the streets. What’s so sad about it is that the majority of them are the “rejects of society”. We have seen and heard all sorts of cases since we got here. We have heard about women who are single moms and have no job, so they have ended up on the streets begging. They either can’t find a job or don’t have child care so they cannot get a job. We have seen many people who are on the streets because they are blind, missing a leg, or have a mental disability. We have also seen and heard about people moving to the streets simply because of old age. They no longer can work and have no one that can or is willing to care for them.
Walking on the streets here in Ethiopia is really quite heavy on the heart. I don’t remember the last time I was able to walk somewhere without seeing someone on the ground with one of the above “problems” I listed above. Walking by older people is one thing, but having cute little children come up to you, sometimes not even fully clothed, asking for money or for you to please buy one of their candies is extremely hard to see and experience day in and day out.
It really tugs on your heart to constantly be trying to discern what it is that you should be doing in each situation. The reality is that there is literally so many people on the streets here that you cannot even begin to hand out food or money to them all. Not knowing what to do or what I can do has made me feel helpless. I have constantly been asking myself, what did Jesus do in times when he waked by the homeless and poor? When I walk by without stopping, am I really being a light to this world? At first, my thought was Jesus took the time to stop and talk to everyone, but then when I really think about it, I wonder if Jesus had to discern and listen to the Spirit just as we do today. I bet Jesus was late to his final destination multiple times because he discerned the Spirit asking him to stop along the road and talk with a man, but I also think there were times when he kept walking and just gave a sweet smile.
Learning to listen to God and discern when he wants me to stop on the streets has probably been one of the most difficult parts of this month for me. I have to be honest about it too, I feel like I have failed in this area. It is so hard when we literally walk everywhere to constantly be listening for the Lord to hear when he wants us to stop. Sometimes I will notice after 10 minutes of walking that I have been completely numb to it and then other times I will be listening, but then make up an excuse as to why this is not a good time for me to stop.
I can very specifically think of moments when I have felt God saying stop, but I haven’t. For instance, two times in about the first week, I walked by an older gentleman with boils all over his body, and I have each time felt God saying “Ashley stop and go over to that man”. Guess what though, I didn’t stop. I came up with an excuse as to why I couldn’t and now I have not stopped thinking about those two moments. I keep asking myself why did I not stop? The answer is, I put God in a box, I over thought the situation. I was my typical self and I tried to play out every possible scenario in my mind and I analyzed how it would go over. I decided it was pointless because I didn’t have a translator, I didn’t have food to give him and I simply was nervous about how to interact with him in general. Similar to the whole “not my time” blog, God is continually teaching me about control. Actually, control seems to be the theme for this month for me. Because here’s the deal, I did not need a plan to approach this man. I didn’t need to know his language or what to say, God had given me a nudge and wanted to use me and I didn’t let him.
I don’t think God is looking down at me, ashamed that I didn’t stop, but I do think he wants to teach me something in this. I think He has not let this situation leave my mind because He wants it to serve as a reminder to me that when I hear His call, I must go. I have no idea how He would have used me, but I also didn’t even give Him the chance to show me.
Part 2: Written on November 29
Well before I was able to get wifi and post the blog I wrote above, God decided to test me a third time to see if I was ready to listen. Today, almost three weeks since I saw the man with the boils, I saw him near our taxi stop. As usual, we were in a bit of a rush, actually I’ll be honest, I was running to grab a quick donut before hopping on our connecting taxi. As I was getting ready to cross the street for my donut, my teammate Alexa called my name. She said, “Ashley, he’s here and nodded her head in the direction of the man”. My heart started pounding. I knew before I even saw him who she was talking about. The man with the boils was sitting on the side of the road. This was the time. God wanted me to stop today.
Luckily, God also has awesome timing. For the first time ever we were early for ministry, hence the donut run. So, God gave me an idea. I went to the bakery and got the man a loaf of bread. I still had no idea what I would say to him, but I wasn’t going to worry about that. I got the bread and headed back over to him. I crouched down, gave the man the loaf of bread and said one of the few phrases I know in Amharic, “selam no”, which means “there is peace” and is also their way of greeting each other here. The man gave me a smile and seemed to sincerely appreciate the bread but said no words.
Here I am now, crouched down on the street, next to a man that knows zero English. I decided a smile and a piece of bread hopefully said it all. I said bye and went back to join my team only a few yards away. It didn’t end here though. As I was standing with my team, I kept catching the man’s eye as he turned around to get a glimpse of us.
I didn’t know what to do, but in the moment I felt God just saying, “Ashley go sit with him”, so I did. I walked over to the man, got down on the ground and just sat. I said my phrase again, tried exchanging a smile and then just sat there. I attempted to get his name, but I still got no verbal response back. After what was probably only a few minutes, a man walked by and asked if I needed help communicating with the man on the street.
I thought to myself, “ok God, here is my translator, what do you want me to say?” I decided a simple what is your name might work for starters and so I learned that his name is Gorum. I then proceeded to ask him another question and that is when I found out he is deaf.
Without going into too much detail, I realized in that moment that I was not going to get to communicate with this man. I couldn’t tell him about Jesus or ask him about his life like I had hoped. God truly put me in a position where I had to trust that a simple smile, a piece of bread, and some time on the ground next to a man named Gorum was exactly what He wanted from me at that time. It was simple, almost too simple in my mind, but it goes back to me needing to stop worrying about all the details and just doing what I feel lead to do.
