It has been a week now since God has healed my back. You are probably wondering why it has taken me so long to tell you that God has healed me. Well see for the first couple of days I didn’t even notice that I was healed.
This past Sunday I was driving by myself to church! I was jamming out to some tunes when I heard God telling me that I had lost faith in him. My first reaction was NO I DIDNT! Then I started to defend myself to God, I mean how silly is that. I tried to defend myself to someone who knows me better then I know myself. After realizing that I was lying to God I started to look back over this past week.
The past week had been a tough one for me. See I started to believe that God had called me home for good. It had been almost ten weeks of intense pain and I was ready to start looking for other things to do since I was staying home. I asked the church that my family was a part of if I could help out with the youth for the summer. I started looking around for jobs. I even went to a college visit at a Christian college. These were all really good options and I know that I would be challenged and grown in these places because God is with me always. But I was the one opening these doors not God.
Then God asked me how my spiritual life had been that past week? I couldn’t lie, I hadn’t given God any attention at all. I had decided that God didn’t want to heal me. so I STOPPED PRAYING FOR HEALING. I figured I didn’t need to since I was going to stay home from the race.
Then while driving God asked me when was the last time I had felt pain in my back. I realized that I hadn’t felt pain since Wednesday April 13. That was the last day I had taken my pain pills. I quickly ran through all the days in my head since then and noticed that it hadn’t hurt at all! Then I hear God’s voice again ” I healed you and you didn’t even notice”.
My heart sank, how did I miss some thing so big? I started crying tears of guilt and tears of joy. I was so excited to be healed but so sad that I had lost faith and missed the healing in my back.
Through my tears I cried out to God asking for forgiveness for losing faith in him. I asked him how can I learn to have faith all the time? How can I learn what you are trying to teach me?
I arrived at church, wiped the tears from my eyes and walked in. The sermon was about faith and how Christians lose faith all the time. I got the biggest smile over my face, thanked God for what he did in the car to prepare my heart and started listening!
That day God did more then just help me realize that he healed my back. He showed me one of my weaknesses and then showed me how he is going to help me fix it! Through prayer and fasting I will draw closer to my Father!
