I wasn’t going to blog about this.
“No. Way.”
My pride was hurt.
About a week ago, I got an email from G42.
*G42 is a discipleship/leadership school that is in Spain. I wrote a blog earlier about applying for it. That I heard God tell me to apply for October. So, I did.*
The email said that I was not accepted into G42- that I was deferred.
I was shocked. I was not accepted into a discipleship school. Ouch. Ashley Albert. I’ve practically grown up in a Christian school. 17 years. I told people that I heard the voice of the Lord, telling me to apply. If I’m not in, did I really hear God’s voice? What are people going to think?
Wow.
Today, I finished reading Judges.
Back story:
Judges 19- there is an Israelite (Levite) man whose concubine is abused by other Israelites (Benjaminites) and left at his doorstep. He finds her dead in the morning. He takes her body home and cuts her up and sends a part of her body to each of the 12 Israelite tribes. When he was asked about it, the Levite told his story. The men reacted in retaliation.
Judges 20- The Israelites asked the Lord if they should go to war with the Benjaminites. The Lord said yes. The Israelites then went to battle with the Benjaminites.
The Benjaminites killed
18,000
of the Israelites.
The Israelites lost the battle.
Hold up. Didn’t God JUST tell the Israelites to, yes, fight the Benjamites and now 18,000 Israelites are dead?
Yes.
God, are you sure?
Yes.
So, the Israelites ask the Lord again. Do we fight again or should we stop fighting? The Lord said to fight again. So they Israelites attacked again.
THIS time
they defeated the Benjaminites.
God told them the first time what to do. They attacked. 18,000 of them died.
That seems like a failure to us. 18,000 people died. They lost the battle that day.
FAIL.
BUT
that was ABSOLUTELY not a failure. They OBEYED the Lord. That is the victory.
So, the thought that I got out of this was just because God tells us to do something, just because we obey the Lord, it doesn’t mean that it is going to go the way that we want it to.
When I read this this morning, I was specifically thinking about healings. I haven’t witnessed miraculous, physical, right-before-my-eyes healing. I would like to. I know other people have, so when I pray and nothing happens, I wonder what the problem is. What am I doing wrong? Do I not have enough faith? Why is there not a victory in what I am praying?
But, BOOM.
This story in Judges showed me. THAT is it. Obeying is the victory.
Stepping out and praying for that person to heal in the name of Jesus is the victory.
Jesus is the Victory.
But, when I was verbally processing this with B.J, I realized further:
Acceptance into G42 isn’t the real victory. It would be nice and for sure a victory humanly speaking.
But, hearing God say to apply in October and applying for it
IS THE
VICTORY!
AAaaahhhhh, yes.
Jesus is the VICTOR! There’s VICTORY in Jesus!
<3 Ash
(on a side note, I wrote in the blog about G42 before, that I actually wanted to go in January. God said to apply for October- I did. I prayed about God not actually letting me go in October and just letting me go in January.
So,
I sent back a response email about being considered for the following January. I am still waiting to hear back. But whether that happens or not, I know that God has something grand for me)
