A Letter to those going on the World Race with a significant other back at home:
As I sit here on my last few days as a racer, on the beach in Vietnam, my first thought is, “Wow, Lord, you create beautiful things.” However, this thought is very closely followed with, “If only Michael could be experiencing all of this life with me.”
Over the past year, I have seen some of the most amazing sights that I’ve ever seen, done some of the coolest things that I’ve ever done, and learned more than I’ve ever learned in such a short period. And in all these things, I wish Michael could have been with me. Seeing, experiencing, and growing together through it all.
The Lord sees, knows, and understands this desire of my heart– I mean, He created me. He built this desire for companionship and partnership into who Ashleigh is. And that’s a beautiful thing. However, over this year, as I have gazed into the eyes of my creator, He has said to me, “This journey was our honeymoon; you two will get yours soon enough” and “Trust in me Ash, I got you.”
All of that being said: I want to leave you with a few tips and suggestions for those leaving on the race with a boyfriend or girlfriend back at home. I can only imagine what it’s like being the one who stayed (see my squadmate Kyle’s blog written by his girlfriend here: http://kyleroetter.theworldrace.org/?filename=you-arent-the-insignificant-other), but this is coming from the one who left — the one who left the love and the comfort of a significant other back home because God said so.
First, before leaving home, place everything in God’s hands.
The night that I told Michael bye, we knelt down together beside my bed, and gave it all up to Jesus. This year wasn’t up to us. If it were, I would not have been leaving for 11 months. So take heart, whether you “make it or not” is not in your hands either. It’s in God’s. If it is the Lord’s will for you to be together in the end, you WILL make it. But if not, there’s someone else that He has for you, and you WILL be okay.
Second, and something I learned very quickly after entering world race culture: Do not compare your relationship to any other relationship.
There will be other people on your squad who also have people at home, but whatever you do, don’t compare your relationship to theirs. Just as we were all made uniquely, every relationship is unique. Some couples have been together for 6 years before the race and others 6 months. The Lord has us all on a different journey, and it’s going to look different for everyone. I noticed that when I started to compare, I felt inadequate and insecure. Was I doing something wrong? As they say, comparison is the thief of all joy.
Third, you will be able to talk to each other.
There is Internet around the world. But do not make this the center of your race. Spend the time necessary investing in your relationship, but remember: you chose to leave, so choose to stay present every single day, no matter how hard it is.
That being said, as for talking, you will have to learn how to communicate effectively. And when I say communicate, I mean talking about your real feelings — your joys and sorrows. Communication is the only form of interaction you can have while a million miles apart, so if you don’t learn how to communicate effectively, you won’t able to love each other well. Share about what the Lord is doing in your heart, in your team, in your life.
Forth, it will get hard.
Turn to Jesus when it does. Some days you will see a couple walking down the street all cute, and it will make you cry (not speaking from personal experience or anything 
) Some days you will just want to scream because the Wi-Fi won’t work, and you haven’t talked to each other in weeks. Some days, you will want to give up because “how in the world will he/she be able understand what you’ve been through this year?” Turn to Jesus, rather than anger, rather than the other person, and He will give you answers to your questions. He will satisfy.
Fifth, don’t forget that your significant other is on this journey, too.
They have things going on at home. They have hard things that they have to face without you there.
Encourage each other and push each other towards Jesus. Send little emails with Bible verses that remind you of them.
Finally, PRAY for your significant other.
PRAY that the Lord would do just as much in their life at home over the next year as he is going to do in yours. PRAY that God gives them a Christ-centered community to walk them through this journey. PRAY for wisdom and patience, because it takes a special person to wait for you.
Above all, remember it is all about Jesus. It was never about us in the first place.
I believe in you. God’s got it. He has big things in store.
Sincerely,
A Fellow Racer and Sister
