If I’ve learned anything from training camp it would be this:
I trust you because I trust God.
Forgiveness does not mean weakness.
God speaks to us in different ways.
Sheep happens.
He’s never gonna let us down.
Prayer can move mountains.
Worship is powerful.
Midnight worship is a must.
Community is about kingdom.
Have a Dialogue with God instead of a Monologue.
Dance parties are always a good idea.
God Loves You.
Have you ever heard something and thought “wow, I needed to hear that.” Well that’s how I felt the first 4 days of training camp at every session. All I could think was “really God…” or “Wow that’s sitting pretty deep inside me, what’s up God?” God was defeintly working on my heart these past 10 days. I’m not going to go into full detail of training camp but there is one part that I would like to share.
The first session of day two was about having a conversational prayer with God. It’s easy to talk Gods ear off but It’s hard to take a moment and listen to his reply. So after the session they sent us off by ourselves to talk to God and listen to what he had to say. They gave us about 30 minutes and then we would go to our squad meeting point to talk about it (debrief) and share in smaller groups (to be vulnerable). So I go off by myself and I’m talking to God but it felt as if I was talking to myself. I was struggling. So after the 30 minutes go by we go into random groups. (not my cup of tea, how am I suppose to be vulnerable if I don’t know these people). I had admitted that being in a all girls team scared me and I had struggled to trust girls because of my past. But for some reason I felt judged for saying so little. (disclaimer: it was a safe environment it was the devil feeding into my anxiety)
I walked to lunch feeling disconnected from everyone on my squad. Feeling upset that I couldn’t hear from God and that everyone was getting into cliques and I wasn’t apart of it. (high school all over again.) Once lunch was over we had about an hour before our next activity. So I decided I would take a nap because maybe that would help me get out of this funk. ( fun fact I can sleep anywhere and everywhere. But mainly on the concrete in the shade where the ground is the only place where you can cool down.)
So I feel asleep with my headphones in and was passed out. I had a vivid dream and here it is: I was underneath a tent and I was building a mud pie. (weird right) I was so happy to be making this mud pie but suddenly the tent started to come off. I remember looking up at it, watching it come off and was extremely excited. Finally the tent was removed and I was on a porch with what looked like my squad mates also building mud pies. Then the Holy Spirit talked to me. ” for a moment put yourself in Gods shoes, this mud pie represents your life. You’re making this mud pie the best, but you’re not done with it. It’s God working on your life making you in his image and he’s not done with you yet. Once he is, you’ll be the best looking mud pie around.” I felt this peace come over me and then was shaken to wake up because a team leader was talking to us.
All the anger, frustration, and anxiousness went away and I was able to look around at my squad and know that this is a safe community. BUT it doesn’t stop there.
Later that night Deon (the speaker) was talking about letting God speak to you (going more in depth from the morning talk). He had the band come back up and we were praying individually when a leader had put his hand on my back and I kid you not it felt as if God had placed his own hand on me. My body felt paralyzed from my head to my toes, and for the first time in my entire life my mind was cleared of all wondering thoughts and was still. Then I heard our Father say, ” I love you” and I dropped to my knees and wept. It was the first time I have ever heard him speak directly to me. I cried tears of joy, and all my fears and anxieties left my body. “I’m no longer a slave to fear, I am a child of God” “Since your love got ahold of me, since your love got ahold of me, Im a new creation I’m forever changed.”
Then we started to worship and the song Head to the heart by united pursuit started playing and all I could do was dance. I was filled with joy and standing with my hands up didn’t do its justice. “From the head to the heart you take me on a journey of letting go and getting lost in you. My heart is open wide, I will receive your life, you give me faith like a child, In you my heart runs wild. and There’s no shame in looking like a fool, when I give you what I can’t keep and take a hold of you.”
You could feel the presence of God, It was like he turned on a switch and everything was made clear. Every person in the building was here for the same reason, to be a disciple and advance the kingdom of God. Because we all felt God was calling us to be here.
Writing this a week later it’s still so present in my life. He put the vision of a mud pie because “you give me faith like a child”. Everything was simple and clear. This isn’t going to be a clear path and its going to be muddy (pun intended) but I trust God that this is his will and that’s all that matters to me. I don’t have to over think anything, it’s as simple as building a mud pie. “Then I heard a voice of the Lord saying,” Whom shall I send? and who will go for us?” and I said, “Here am I. Send me!” Isaiah 6:8
So as I mentioned above how I was scared to be on a all girls team, well my team is all girls. And I couldn’t be more happy about it. They are some strong, Jesus loving women! I can’t wait to do life with them. God Humor.
I want to share so much more but for now i’ll leave you with this. If you want to know more contact me! 🙂
yours truly,
Ashleigh
We are called to be BOLD. Joshua 1:9
F-Squad
Daughters of Dignity
