I reblogged myself from last year. It happens.
When I was 12, my best friend was 19 and a sophomore in college.
Her name was Ryann and our favorite thing to do was take afternoon drives. We are no longer in touch, which breaks my heart, but those backroad adventures shaped so much of my life. It was glorious and is still one of my favorite things to do.
During these times, she would introduce me to music such as Weezer and Five Iron Frenzy.
Five Iron Frenzy had a song called "Dandelions."
It says this:
In a field of yellow flowers,
underneath the sun,
bluest eyes that spark with lightning,
boy with shoes undone.
He is young, so full of hope,
reveling in tiny dreams,
filling up, his arms with flowers,
right for giving any queen.
Running to her beaming bright,
while cradling his prize.
A flickering of yellow light,
within his mother's eyes.
She holds them to her heart,
keeping them where they'll be safe,
clasped within her very marrow,
dandelions in a vase.
She sees love, where anyone else would see weeds.
all hope is found.
Here is everything he needs.
Fathomless your endless mercy,
weight I could not lift.
Where do I fit in this puzzle,
what good are these gifts?
Not a martyr, or a saint,
scarcely can I struggle through.
All that I have ever wanted,
was to give my best to you.
Lord, search my heart,
create in me something clean.
Dandelions
you see flowers in these weeds.
Gently lifting hands to heaven,
softened by the sweetest hush,
a Father sings over his children,
loving them so very much.
More than words could warrant,
deeper than the darkest blue,
more than sacrifice could merit,
Lord, I give my heart to you.
I am a wild flower, I always have been and I am guessing that this trait is not going away anytime soon. What I love about being a wild flower is that while everyone else sees them as weeds, the Lord sees them as Dandelions.
I mess up, a lot.
I wake up in the morning and beg the Lord out of desperation to guide me with every word, step, and thought so that I may bring glory and fame to the name of Jesus.
Then, I get out of bed, and the whole thing crumbles.
I truly need Him every moment, and my heart breaks a little every time I realize missed opportunities to share His love and mercy with people. However, He has promised to never leave me nor forsake me, so I am going to cling to that because my life depends on it.
I sometimes wonder what my life would be like if I had faith to believe in all of the promises that the Lord gives to all of us.
Promises like being a faithful servant, healing being in His hands, and saving all of myself until marriage.
Promises that there are in fact men out there who serve and know the Lord with gladness instead of trepidation.
I do not have faith like this.
Instead, for twenty- two years, I have wallowed in the thought that for some reason, I am just not meant to have these things. When I mess up, I brush it off, and when I get hurt, I count it off with the self- destructive thought of "well, at least I am being paid attention to at all."
How I wish that I could go to my 16 year old self and punch her in the mouth, shake her and say "SHEMA!" Watch out! I sometimes think about how my life would be different if I wouldn't have made the decisions that I did. While it would have been much, much more boring, I am also certain that I would not have the same friends, faith, or happiness.
While my life may be unconventional, unpredictable, and unworthy, I pray that I might always be unashamed to share about the One who brought me out of and into where I am now.
Advice of the day: Be a Dandelion in a world full of weeds.
