I was talking to a friend a couple weeks ago about…well, a little of everything, but part of what occurred in our conversation was a short discussion on the different aspects of God and how they are reflected through us human beings. Specifically he began to speak about mothers versus fathers and how mothers show us the more "feminine" aspects of God; you know, the "tenderness, softness, nurturing, caring, emotional" sort of things.
While I agreed with everything he was saying, there was also something about it that didn't sit right with me either. I've been musing over this, and I think I've finally realized what it is that bothers me.
I don't think he meant to come off this way, but when saying it is women that reflect that list of the attributes of God; well, in my mind, it sounds like ONLY women and NOT men reflect this.
And that underlying belief behind his words is the exact lie that our society would have us all believing.
Men, our culture tells you that, in order to prove yourself a man, you must always be rough, tough, slightly barbaric in your ways, and always, always you must hide any and all emotions or "soft side" that you have. But you and I both know that's not who you really are. And it is not who God has intended for you to be either.
"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'" – Matthew 22:37-39 (NIV)
"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her." – Ephesians 5:25 (NIV)
These are two of the most well-known verses in the Bible (for good reason), and what are they telling you to do? They tell you to LOVE.
Now, I don't know about you, but I consider loving someone outside of yourself far from being hard and emotionless. In fact, it's the exact opposite; it is the most vulnerable, caring, and exposing of softness that anyone can ever do.
And this is what I have found. True men, men who take after the heart of God, they aren't afraid to love, to expose the softness that lies within. In loving, they show that tenderness, caring, and nurture that we so often only associate with females. And yet, they are still all man, full of testosterone and masculinity…they know they are powerful, but they don't need to constantly show their power to prove they are a man.
I have had the blessing and honor of being surrounded by a multitude of these types of men, both in Cru at Cal Poly Pomona, and now with the men on my squad…all 10 of them. And I have to say, as a woman who has been wounded by men, who used to despise their existence (sorry guys), God has used these tender-hearted men to correct my perspective of Him. It is in them that I get a clear picture of who God is.
And yes, this whole "loving" thing comes more naturally for ladies, we don't feel the need to hide our affections or our emotions (mostly because there's too many to keep in), but it doesn't mean that's not for you men, either. I'd say that is part of the whole design of human beings that God had in mind when He made Eve for Adam.
I think it's safe to say that God knew what it was going to be like for men here on Earth, so He made women for us to help to draw out that tenderness within you. Believe me, I know the power I have as a woman over the hearts of guys, and how easily we can make our way into your soft spots. It is a power that is all too often abused, and on behalf of all women, I want to apologize for that.
But when that male/female union occurs (we're talking marriage here) and the woman is a woman after God's heart, she becomes a safe place for a man to expose his heart, and is able to cultivate and grow that tenderness just as God does. It is a beautiful thing to witness and I pray that one day I will get to be that for the man God desires for me to follow.
Our society is a society of dichotomies…we're an "either, or" sort of culture. Either you are tough or you are soft. But God is a god of "both". He is both masculine and feminine; He is the most powerful being in the universe, and He also chooses to show up in a whisper; He is wrathful and grace-filled. As a son of God, men, you no long must fit in the dichotomy of this world, but you are free to be part of the "both" that God has made you to be. Both tough and tender.
So, please don't be afraid to allow God to turn you into a tender-hearted man; for surely, it is exactly what this world needs. 
