Hey everyone,
Wow it has been a difficult few days. After some serious prayer and consideration, I've come to the conclusion that the World Race is not God's plan for me in the coming year. There's been a lot of struggle with coming to this decision for a number of reasons that I'll get into in a second, but ultimately I remain confident in His will for me.
When I described on the blog how I came to the decision to go, I really felt that God had given me the green light to move forward. At the time, it really wasn't a difficult decision to make. Even after considerations of how it would impact my senior year, how it might make finding a job more difficult, clashing with my father over his views on Christianity and this mission – none of these things really deterred me at all from desiring to give my all to this. But one thing did give me slight pause, and that was my leadership in Dopesiples.
Dopesiples is essentially a Bible study within the dance community that I had the privilege of starting with a few other guys. There is an entire testimony that goes along with its inception that I won't get into here, but it was easily where I found the most joy in serving the Lord last year. That being said, my commitment to the World Race would require a new leader to step in after a semester (plus a few weeks from last year) since its founding.
Over the past two weeks (and past two days in particular), I've grown much more uneasy about going on the World Race, for reasons I couldn't quite explain. And then came a series of little reminders that continued to pull me in a different direction. One reminder from a brother that there are many different opportunities to serve the Lord. A prayer from a pastor to delight in the Lord first. A completely separate reminder from an old lifegroup leader that He delights in me. And finally, I discovered that my leadership in Dopesiples would still be needed after first semester.
All of this being said, I'm reminded that obedience is greater than sacrifice. Abraham's acts of obedience – He willingly brought his son to the mountain to be sacrificed, and of course stopped when instructed by the angel of the Lord. “I swear by myself, declares the Lord, that because you have done this and have not withheld your son, your only son, I will surely bless you … because you have obeyed me.”
I truly feel that, at least for the time being, the University of Michigan is still my mission field. Perhaps it's a matter of personality, but heeding the call to "go" has always been easier than the call to "stay". Regardless, I am still incredibly blessed. Thank you all for the support, both financially and in prayer. You guys have shown so tangibly your love and willingness to walk with me. I completely understand if some of you are disappointed by this change of direction, and my pride is admittedly a bit hurt by having to turn back on this opportunity. However, I remain confident that God is good and that He'll still use this Body of Christ for the good of His will.
In Christ,
Anthony
