I just want to take the time to tell you a little bit about what God has done in those 10 days at Training Camp in Gainesville, GA. Overall this has been a really encouraging and a confirmation from God that I do need to go to South America. We slept in tents, hammocks, simulated airports, camped under a tarp, ate food with our fingers, did ministry in trailer parks and worshipped God in this short span of time. My personal prayer for that week was that God would just uproot things that are in my life, that do not belong to me and need to be weeded out. Well God has been doing exactly that! Many of you know my story, so when I talk about my family, you know I pray for their salvation every day. This week God has taught me to let go of them completely and giving that control back to God! I’m going to have to back up a little bit and do some explaining.
I struggle with giving God control over my families salvation (Mom, dad, if you read this, don’t worry, you have a free will to choose, it’s not mind control). I have been struggling with that for years. Through that I have made it increasingly difficult to minister to my family, because I have been limiting myself, and made them uncomfortable. A lot of times I feel that I am not a good enough example to show my family Christ. I recognized my want for control and that is one reason He sent me here, so I can finally let go of those shackles that keep me bound to the prison cell, I have put myself in frankly.
One of our speakers at training camp started talking about going into the nations and why it is so important. Then he mentioned something so small, but yet so vitally important for me that I could not get it out of my head all week! He started talking about the passage Luke 4:24 which says “”Truly I tell you,” he continued, “no prophet is accepted in his hometown.” (NIV). The ESV version says “no prophet is acceptable in his hometown.” The speaker talked about why a prophet has a difficult time at home, mainly it is because that is where his comfort zone is. I am most comfortable at home. I love home. I love my family dearly, but I am also called to go the extra mile and to be out of my comfort zone. Another reason the speaker mentioned was that the prophet has to leave, to show the family what it means to live for Christ. I’m not saying everybody has to leave their unsaved families, I just see that in my case, that I need to let go and let God do His thing!
Since the attempt failed, to give ultimate control of my family to the Lord during my college years, He’s trying again now. I’ve been praying for that for years! I recognized that it was hard on my family and it was especially hard for me, because I put too much pressure on myself.
As God is a loving father, he offered to take that burden from me on Thursday of Training Camp. That morning I had prayed specifically that God would give me His joy today in a tangible way. Just before we went out to the Trailer Park to minister to the people, the cook that had been preparing our food for camp came up and told us his testimony. He started talking about how when World Racers were actually at his hostel, they did not push their religion on him, but they actually got to know him personally, his name, his hobbies, anything about him. Through their actions he could see Christ. This made me tear up, because it reminded me of how many times I have not actually lived like Christ did and did not practice what I preached to my family. Through the course of his testimony I started to cry more and more because God was telling me: “Anouk, it is not your responsibility to get your family saved. Let go and let me do my work!” In that moment I felt like a huge root has been ripped out of my heart and tossed away, because it was not my burden to carry. I need to go out into the nations to bring others closer to Christ, through that my hope is that my family will see Christ through me. However, I will not stress myself out anymore, about their salvation, because it is not my place to worry.
The whole picture of being uprooted and renewed has been confirmed by one of the leaders at Adventures in Mission when he came up to me and told me that when I was crying, he saw me as an oak tree that was deeply rooted. This was so encouraging, because God is continuing His good work that He started in me, he continues to root me more deeply in Him as I spend time with Him and gives me the chance to let go of roots that are not ultimately mine and that need to be let go of.
