This is an excerpt that I wrote about a year and a half ago. It’s almost too personal but I think it is appropriate for what God is saying about myself and the women we meet every night on the streets. I once was at a place where I knew God’s unconditional love. I am quickly coming back to that place in a new and more powerful way. This next passage is written about me and Jesus.
She was standing there
among the crowd feeling like the center of attention and all alone at the same
time. She was laughing and teasing all the while knowing that people were
looking at her. And then suddenly He caught her eye. He was down at eye level
with a little boy who was just begging for his attention. While He was
lavishing him with all the love each child deserves the boys eyes reflected
back the peculiarly captivating light that drew others into their interaction.
Suddenly He was distracted,
He had glanced up and seen her; standing there surrounded and alone. But when
He looked at her He could not look away. He was captured by her gaze. As soon
as He made eye contact, the wind of a thousand gales and the water of a
thousand rivers rushed through her heart. Her heart stopped completely for a
whole minute and when it started again it was faster than she’d ever felt. Yet
in that moment of complete chaos, her soul felt the deepest peace it had ever
known. Those winds and rivers had washed away any imperfections that were
inside of her.
She was white and pure and not longer had to wear a mask to hide
the reality of herself. She was free! The kind of freedom that allows a widow
to sob uncontrollably and fully feel the pain of her husbands death. The kind
of freedom that gives one’s feet the ability to dance like they never have
before. The kind of freedom that tears down any barriers that have kept one
from genuine heart-sharing friendship with others.
All this with one glance?
She should look away. People were probably noticing what a spectacle she was
making of herself. But she could not rip her eyes away. Every time she told
herself to look away she seemed to be drawn further into His gaze. She wanted
to run away and come closer all in one emotion. He could see that; He could see
it all. And she wanted to be embarrassed but He wouldn’t let her. He simply
kept looking as if He were just as captivated as she.
Suddenly she was there in
front of Him. How had she gotten there, where had all those moments in between
gone? All she could see was His gaze and the obvious adoration that lay behind
those gorgeous eyes. All she could see what perfection in the most painfully
beautiful way and she knew she would not walk away unchanged. Could she even
walk away? It was doubtful!
As she drew close she could
smell His scent. This was heady indeed. He smelled like the desert that is
receiving its first rain in months. He smelled of honey-suckle and pine
needles. One would think that those combined would be distasteful but it was
the most masculine scent that had ever reached her nostrils. She wanted to be
in the circle of His arms breathing His scent with no distractions around.
Usually the nose becomes accustomed to a scent but every time she inhaled, it
was fresher than the last time. She was caught; by Him.
How had He done this to
her? What was her problem? She should charm Him or make Him laugh or tell Him
something witty. But she simply stood before Him seeing that He was delighted
and knowing she was the cause of the delight but having no idea why. And all
she could do was accept his delight.
And all I can say is Thank you Jesus for that delight!
