When I first heard about the world race, I loved the idea of it. I loved the idea of world travel to mystical new places with beautiful new faces to meet and intriguing new cultures to explore. I loved the idea of “missions”. The idea of leaving home and doing something different, the idea of being brave… I loved the idea of all of these things. However, that’s all it was. An idea.
Then God told me he wanted me to go. He told me I wouldn’t have to worry about fundraising or finances, but just to trust him and he will sort it out. Suddenly that idea became more than just an idea. It was a reality.
What I did when I realized that it was more than just a thought, was not at all how I expected it would be. I cried. Hardcore.
All of a sudden my life at home seemed so much sweeter to me in that moment. Life was better. Relationships were stronger. And all of these things that I couldn’t wait to get away from became all I wanted to be around.
I knew God wanted me to go, but I didn’t have the desire to leave anymore. I knew that in the Bible there were stories about God asking his children to do hard things. I also knew that when they obeyed, God was faithful. And when they weren’t, although He still loved them, their story never turned out as great as it could’ve been.
After a long long process of getting my parents approval and figuring out what I needed to do, I decided to obey God and apply. If you haven’t ever applied for an AIM trip, the application takes years (I’m only slightly exaggerating) to fill out. The whole time I was filling out the application, I was secretly hoping I would answer the questions “wrong” and not get accepted.
But of course if God wants me to go, he’s not going to let me get denied acceptance. Deep down I knew that, but I was hoping it wasn’t true.
Once I got accepted, I still didn’t really want to go. My family was closer than ever, my friends and I were having the time of our lives, and I felt a stronger tie to my city than I believed was even possible. But God wanted me to go, so I assumed He had a pretty good reason for it.
I thought God had this big moment for my race. A magical event that would make leaving family, friends, and comforts worth it..
It’s been 9 months now, and the funny thing is that looking back, I’m realizing that there was no big moment. There was no single even that made it worth it for me coming on the race.
Instead, when I look back, I see tons of tiny little moments that made everything worth it.
All these tiny little moments have grown me in more ways than I can even describe. They have all shown me a God that is so kind, sweet, loving, gracious, humble, and completely and wholly good. He is so freaking good!
I’ve realized that throughout life we tend to wait for the big moment. The moment we get skinny, the moment we get married, the moment we have kids, that moment we get rich, that moment we get the good job. Then we suppose our life will be great. Then we will be on track. Then we will be happy… but something I’ve realized that’s not how it works.
Life isn’t based off of one moment. If it was, what would be the point of living before or after that moment? Life is composed of thousands of little moments every day, that give us joy or teach us lessons that grow us and transform us into a new person little by little.
Looking back on the race, these little moments are the ones I will never forget. The moments that I was crying in my tent in Africa, or playing a game of tag with a group of boys in El Salvador, or sweating bullets in the Phil doing construction. All of these moments transformed me to look more like Christ. They have all made me into a new person. A better person.
I am so thankful now that I went on this crazy journey. I have done and seen all of the things I thought I would and even more. God has grown me, broken me, stretched me, and moved me in bigger and better ways than I thought possible.
This has been one heck of a ride, and I wouldn’t change it for anything. Thank you for supporting me on this beautiful life changing experience. Thank you for your love and encouragement. You have helped push me and have given me strength in so many ways. I love you all and can’t wait to see you in two-ish weeks!
