I’ve been reading this book lately called The Skeletons in Gods Closet by Joshua Ryan Butler. The purpose of this book is to discuss hard topics like hell, judgment, and holy war. I’m only in chapter three now, and I’ve already learned so much! It has broken my thoughts and me in more ways than one. This is a book I would HIGHLY recommend everyone read through sooner rather than later. Even if you already know about these topics, I encourage you to open up to the perspective this book gives.
Chapter two is titled “The Wicked Root||The Power of Hell.” This chapter was one that completely broke me, but before I explain why, I want you to read for yourself some of it to gain an understanding on where my thoughts came from.
Tree and Root
“At that point in my life, I still had a problem with the doctrine of hell. I was a new Christian and there were some parts of the faith I was still trying to make sense of. But the seed of realization was growing inside me: there are some things I want out of God’s world forever.
I would soon find out there are some things God wants out of His world forever too. Reading through the gospels one day, I came across Jesus talking about the power of hell in relation to lust. Here is what he has to say:
You have heard that it was said, “Do not commit adultery.” But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. [Matthew 5:27-30]
Suddenly I had a problem. Jesus wants to get rid of sex trafficking too, only he takes it a lot more seriously than I do. I want to get rid of sex trafficking; Jesus wants to get rid of lust. I want to prune back the wicked tree; he wants to dig out the root.
And that wicked root is in me.
I may not be a sex trafficker, a pedophile tourist, or a greedy madam- but I have lust. I can be one lusty animal. Jesus says that if you even look lustfully at one of God’s daughters, demeaningly commodifying her as an object for your own self centered gratification, then the power of hell has roots in you, and when God arrives to establish his kingdom, you are in danger of being cast outside the kingdom with it.
I was no longer simply part of the solution; I was part of the problem. The enemy was no longer simply “out there” but “in here.” In the Famous words of Pogo, “We have met the enemy, and he is us.” There is a wicked tree that has grown to monstrous proportions in our world, damaging and destroying the lives of tens of millions of young girls beneath its dark and disastrous shade, and the root of that wicked tree lives in me.”
Although I may not be looking at young girls lustfully… I have anger, I gossip, I have many other sinful tendencies. While reading this passage in the book, I began to cry. I cried because I realized for the first time in a very vivid way that I am not good. As a matter of fact, I am worse than bad. I have hell in me. I have the very things that God separates Himself from in me, and knowing this tears me apart.
We have this amazing father who meets us where we are and loves us. He gives us grace and mercy each day. He forgives us and blesses us and is there for us always, yet we choose to break his heart. We choose to hurt Him. To separate ourselves from the only thing we know to be good in this world.
He knows we are bound to hurt Him, we are bound to break His heart, yet He still loves us unceasingly. He still calls us His children and pours out His affection over us.
So why do we do it? Why do we allow hell to have a place in our being?
The answer I have found is that we do it because it’s easy, because it’s easier for us to say yes to sin and give in than to do what it right. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to be known as someone who takes the easy way out. I want to be known as holy, set apart from this world. And I hope you do too.
I hope reading this created a spark in you somewhere, it only takes a spark to start a wild fire. I again highly encourage you to read this book. Butler is a great writer who makes things personal and isn’t afraid to be bold.
Sometimes boldness is what we need to confront hard topics in our life. God has been confronting me with boldness here in the Philippines a lot. Ministry here has been really hard for me, its 24/7 kids ministry, which isn’t bad at all, its just exhausting. Its been hard to find joy in everyday life here and I’m having to depend on God to get me through each day. He is also reminding me of all of the sweet moments from El Salvador and I am 100% sure he is calling me back there at some point. But that’s for another time and another blog. Prayers are always appreciated, but especially now as I’m in a season of uncertainty with why I’m here and finding where my joy is. Thanks for all the love from across the world! Each of you are making such an impact on my race!
