“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
-Jesus (Matthew 11)
These words pour over my soul like water.
I sit in them – soaking in them, letting them trickle into my spirit and cover my heart.
It’s difficult to explain the change that occurs, but something powerful shifts inside of me. The weight that I’ve been carrying around grows lighter and lighter as the waterfall dissolves the load on my back. I hardly realize what’s happening until suddenly it occurs to me that the weight is completely gone. I glance around wondering where it disappeared to, but it has disintegrated into nothing.
That’s my Jesus.
I don’t know how he does it, but it happens every time.
His presence is unlike anything I know…
Running helps, yoga calms, drawing distracts, sleep moderates, friends encourage,
but only Jesus removes the heaviness completely.
In high school I battled depression on and off, and every so often the dark clouds start to hover again against my will. Whether it’s chemical, spiritual, psychological or a combination of all three, I don’t know. But I do know that, try as I might, I can’t fight off the weariness that clings to me.
“Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble, and he saved them from their distress. He brought them out of the darkness.” – Psalm 107
Time after time after time, He lifts me out of it.
The moment I call out to him, inviting him into the messiness instead of pretending like it isn’t there, is the moment that He removes it.
“Come, all you who are thirsty, come to the waters. You who have nothing, come and drink!”
(Isaiah 55)
The sweetness of his presence is almost tangible. His words are like music breathing life into me again.
I linger there, not wanting to leave the streams of his grace.
When I finally do, I walk away different.
Uncontainable joy spills over into everything, forming a ridiculous smile across my face and irresistible dance in my step.
I can’t explain it,
but it’s the most real experience that I know.
***
I don't know why I forget to drink from his wells. I go along for a while, aware that something isn't right, but unable to articulate what.
Then one day I break and He draws me back to this place.
Once here, everything makes sense again, and I wonder what could've possibly drawn me away from such beauty in the first place.
