Every so often in our spiritual journey there is a kairotic moment in which God does something radical in our hearts. Something shifts and we are never the same.
Last week in Georgia was a kairotic moment in my life.
When I arrived in the Atlanta airport, I felt prepared. I had just spent the week at REI with my dad buying the highest quality but smallest possible tent, sleeping mat, sleeping pad, quick-dry towel, sandals, knife, waterbottle- pretty much everything in the store. I was ready for the trial run in the wilderness in the South.
Promptly after finding my squad at the airport, I was bussed with the other 200 racers two hours away to Toccoa Falls where we were given peanut butter jelly sandwiches for dinner and told to set up our tents in the middle of a field.
So far, so good….My home for the next year stood upright and strong in the sea of other tents.
And then the torrential downpour began.
As I lay in my now soaking little tent the first night while the creatures outside croaked their agony, I scribbled in my journal, "Thus, the adventure begins."
Within 24 hours of my arrival, any expectations of comfort, food, rest, normalcy were completely abandoned.
After a night of pouring rain, we got up with the rising sun at six, packed up our drenched tents, fitting everything back into our 75 L backpacks and were instructed to run for 30 minutes preparing our bodies for the grueling future of carrying our packs for miles at a time.
Afterwards we were rewarded with Asian breakfast of hot, mushy rice topped with peanuts. I used to make fun of my roommate for eating rice with breakfast, but I guess it's a real thing in Asia. For the rest of the week, we would continue to have an interesting array of "typical" meals of the coming year.
Stomach still growling, I headed into an auditorium where the speaker talked not on what next year was going to look like, but rather on the mysteries of the Holy Spirit.
I quickly realized I wasn't going to be given answers this trip, but rather trained in the discipline of depending on the Lord in the unknown.
I found that the unknown can give birth to beautiful things.
My greatest fear going into the trip was not knowing (or deciding) who I would spend the next year with.
Who would've thought that I could fall in love with a group of people I never met so quickly?
The 65 people that I will be spending the next 11 months with are awesome… after a week they are more than family.
God is faithful and I can honestly say that I adore the people I will be serving with.
When I headed to training camp, I didn't know what to expect, but I knew that God was going to show up.
Well, He did.
I have never experienced a more powerful and intimate display of the Holy Spirit as I did this week.
A girl on my team with a broken foot walked away completely healed.
People shook with the Holy Spirit.
People danced in His joy.
There was a particular moment in which my heart was so overwhelmed by his love I couldn't contain it.
For the first time in years I felt that I could be not just okay in my own skin, but happy in my own skin, because He delighted in me.
For the first time since I was a kid, I felt beautiful.
Deep scars surfaced and were healed in my heart.
I'm struggling to explain it, but something radical shifted within me.
Walking away from camp, I believe so deeply two things I've always known:
#1 That God is completely in control. Every step of my life is painted by his sovereign hand.
#2 He is good. He adores me. He wants what is absolutely best for my heart.
I can't be defeated.
I will go to the darkest, most dangerous parts of the world and know that everything is going to be okay.
Not just okay, but beautiful.
SO… this next year is going to be incredible.
This summer is going to be incredible.
The rest of my life is going to be incredible
Because if God is for me, who can be against me?
