I saw myself through the eyes of a street artist. We were walking around the Warorot Market, which is the market the Thai people shop in. It is far cheaper than paying for stuff in the Night Market and Night Bazaar. The sounds, smells, and sights are so authentic and so glorious. The Chinese New Year was 2 days ago. Let me tell you it took about half the day to get used to the minute-long explosions of firecrackers throughout the city. I’m not going to lie – I did almost throw myself on the sidewalk once thinking it was gunfire. Yes, yes, I’m that girl. After going and visiting some of my squad mates friends at a tattoo parlor, six of us headed to Warorot Market. There was awesome music and some beautiful artwork that we looked at. As we passed the stage where a local band was playing, we saw two street artists drawing a little girl. They captured her essence so well, with her dark mistrusting eyes, her intense stare with no smile, and cute little braided buns. I was intrigued. I asked one of the artist how much. “300 Baht” “OK.” For those of you who don’t know, 300 baht is about $10. This artwork some of my friends told me he could be charging 10 times that much at least in the states. I sat in the chair and he had to get me positioned just right with my braid over my shoulder and face at the right level. Once I was in the right place, he started working. If you have never sat for a drawing, it’s super awkward having to sit there and stare into the eyes of someone you don’t know, letting them look into you and see how to capture you on paper. Because I could tell he wasn’t just trying to draw my face, but the emotions behind my face, capturing the essence of me as well as the physical features. As I sat there, I started to think about how God is currently helping me work on my self worth and developing a better view of myself. I love the verse in Ephesians 2:10 where it says “For we are His workmanship, having been created in Christ Jesus for good works that God prepared beforehand so we may do them.” God see me; not only my face and eyes but my soul, my emotions, my dreams. And He has made me and is still molding me into his beautiful daughter, the one he imagined when he first created me. I am known and loved and being transformed daily. My teammate Derek received a word for me this month, to read Psalm 139 word for word and soak it in, speaking those words over myself. “Oh Lord you search me and you KNOW me…. You are familiar with all my ways … Your right hand will hold me fast … For YOU created my inmost being: you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I PRAISE you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I KNOW that full well.” These are just a few verses from the whole chapter. And they speak to me SO much. (Yes I realize there are a lot of capital words). I continue to figure out who I am and who I want to be. Next month in Cambodia, one of my goals is to fall in love with myself. So here’s to learning who I am and becoming that woman. God is speaking words of life over me. And I’m eagerly listening to hear who I am.
