So I realize I’ve been a very bad world race blogger the last few weeks. Moving may be part of my excuse but really I haven’t felt very inspired to write. Caught up in being tired, busy, and uncertain of where the next six months will take me, I have been a little bit complacent about blogging. But this is my reentry into the blogging sphere.
First, an update: Letters were mailed out today, as was my passport application. I am excited to see how God leads people to support the work I will be doing in the field as the letters reach their destinations.
Last Saturday, I started to clear out my patch of backyard for gardening. I’ve been given the long, narrow piece of dirt behind Milly’s (my awesome roommate for the summer) and my apartment. Well, most of this area was pretty easy. Dad sprayed weed killer on all the nasty little clover things and so they had all died and been removed. There was a patch of gladiolas that mom and I were going to move to the front yard. But the challenge I had been dreading (although excited to see it gone) was the fig bush. This thing gets huge every year and we always cut it back but it grows with a vengeance. And though it is a fig bush and it is huge, it NEVER has any figs. This thing had to go.
I started by trimming off all the leafy branches. Soon all that was left was a massive stump; not massive as in like a tree trunk – more like 5 smaller stumps all collected at the base to make for a gnarly looking base. As I used the pickax to slowly loosen this beast of a plant, I began finding roots that extended up to 12 feet away from it. Some I had to clip with the clippers because I would have ripped up the grass (and dad would not have been happy about that). And there weren’t just a few roots – no there were dozens and dozens. Thick ones, thins ones, short ones, long ones, some that broke off in multiple directions. After working on it for a while alone I had made some progress but I realized my feeble strength wasn’t going to do the job.
So I found Dad. We took turns pulling the roots and he used the pickax to loosen the larger roots and chop the multi-stump base into smaller more manageable pieces. Some of them, he would ask for my help and together we both pulled it up out of the ground.
I’m a metaphor person. I love looking at life and seeing the connection to life, God, and beauty. As I looked at the slaughter of this massive fig bush, I realized several things about myself and about my life.
One: I like to try to do things on my own – I looked forward to the challenge of digging up that plant by myself, and not needing anyone’s help. I like praise and being seen as capable. I like people being impressed with my abilities. I don’t like to be seen as a quitter or someone who is weak.
Two: Fig Bush & Massive Root system represents sin in my life – There are still areas where I struggle (Ex. See No. 1). I am prideful, selfish, easily angered at times, impatient, lacking in love, and ungrateful at times for all I have been given. The outward signs of those sins are like the leaves. They can be cut off and trimmed away, but if the root system is left, they will eventually grow back. Some of the roots sin in my life are large and have grown long and thick, hard to pull from the ground. When you do, they rip open the dirt and expose the soil beneath the ground. This soil is softer and moist. It is not used to being exposed to the elements. The taproot, the large root extending straight down from the base of the stump, deep into the earth is like the root of the problem. Human nature, the flesh, sin, etc. This is the root which everything else extends from. Some roots are larger and easy to see and eventually pull out. Other roots are the size of a piece of floss, tiny, with little hair-like extensions grasping at any and every part of the soil it can. If left uncheck or untended, sin can grow out of control and take deep root. And roots don’t just go down and stay in one place. They spread out. They affect other areas, just like one sin may be rooted but it’s affects spread through your life.
Three: When you can’t do it on your own, ask Dad – Just as I realized this plant was not coming out of the ground with me at the helm, so too can I not deal with sin without asking the Father to help. Just as my dad helped cut up and break apart this massive root, so does God break apart our sins into pieces we can deal with one at a time. He works with us to grow in Him and become more like Jesus each day. And sometimes, he requires us to take hold of those roots with Him and pull with all our might to get the roots removed from our hearts. It is a team effort. God wants you to meet him halfway.
The last largest part of the base, and the most deeply rooted, we actually tied a chain to it and used the MINIVAN (Go Vicki – that’s my van’s name, in case you didn’t know) to pull the stump up out of the ground. It was pretty epic. Sometimes, God has to use others to help in the quest to deal with sin, whether it’s an accountability partner, a parent, or a friend. Outside sources of help are a great tool when the battle it too great for you alone.
As I continue forward in preparation for the race, I’m going to examine my heart and see what roots of sin I still have dwelling in my heart. Thoughts and behaviors not rooted in love but in myself and the sin of the world. The sin Jesus died and overcame. The sin he will continue to free me from as I become more and more like Him.
