The first time I heard of the World Race, I thought it sounded incredibly awesome…but definitely not something that would realistically happen in my future. In October, the idea of the World Race popped back into my head, and I just couldn't quite get it out of my head. This is my last year of college, so the pressure to have my whole life figured out by the time I graduate made me hesitant to think of the World Race as anything more than a crazy dream. But one of the amazing things about God is that He loves to give people crazy dreams – then make them reality as only He can.
Okay, let's backtrack a bit. Last spring I was trying to figure out my schedule for my remaining year of college, and I also really wanted to study abroad for a bit. During the last couple weeks of the spring semester, everything fell into place for my to study abroad for 5 weeks in Lima, Peru, with the ISA program. I wanted to take full advantage of being abroad, so I decided to book my return ticket for 5 weeks later than the end date of the program. I hoped while in Peru I'd be able to get involved with some organization to work with a church or something for the last 5 weeks – but I had no set plans for that time before I headed off to Lima. Turns out one of the girls I met from the program was going to stay in Peru for an extra 6 months and work with a missionary. She gave me the missionary's email, who then contacted another missionary, who worked at a church with a Peruvian woman, whose brother was the director of a school outside of Lima – pretty sure such a crazy connection could only occur with God's direction! After the study abroad program (which was beyond phenomenal I must say!!) ended, I was able to spend the next 5 weeks teaching English to the most wonderful group of Peruvian students. I can't even describe how perfect it was! Anyone who knows me fairly well knows that teaching latino children in their cute school uniforms has been like a lifelong dream of mine! …And then it was time for me to come home and prepare to head back to school. That wasn't fun.
I stayed in touch with a couple people in charge of the school, and they proceeded to offer me a job after graduation this May. The school has plans to expand their language center and become a bilingual school, and I could be a part of it! I was so ecstatic and knew that was exactly what I had always wanted to do. Therefore, it was really puzzling to me that I never felt God's peace about that plan. Actually, it was downright frustrating and made me pretty darn annoyed with God. I couldn't understand why He gave me the passions that I have and how he planned my summer so perfectly – only to take it all from me.
Then He reminded me of all the times in my life when I've prayed to have God in control, that His will would be done in my life…of all the songs I've sang proclaiming 'I surrender ALL to Him.' So what it ultimately comes down to is this: Am I running my life, or am I allowing God to lead? After tons of praying, crying, and thinking, I chose to let go of what I thought was the ideal plan for my life. It was, and still is, hard. God never says it will be easy and understandable, but it will be worth it. I'm holding onto that promise that one day I'll look back and see how God worked through every transition in my life – and worked everything out for good.
So back to October, when the World Race popped into my head. Crazy idea. I tried to ignore it and couldn't. A couple of months later, after thinking about it on a daily basis, I filled out the application…all that was left was to pay the fee for that initial application process. Rather than ignore the idea, I began to pray about going. I knew God was giving me the go ahead, but I was still hesitant. This was just not making sense to me! How could I just go off around the world for almost a year – having no money to do so, no job to come back to, no tangible sense of security. One night I was going through the process online as if I was to submit the application fee – just theoretically, I wasn't going to click the final submit button. I entered all of my information, clicked the button that I expected would take me to the 'review your information before submission,' and lo and behold it took me to the page that said 'your transaction is complete.' What?! First I panicked because I was pretty certain I didn't have the $39 to cover the fee in my account at the time – I did the math in my head & I was sure I didn't. But I figured the damage was done, so rather than call my parents to get yelled at, I just sent an e-mail to my mom explaining the situation. However, a bit later I was informed that when I made the transaction, there just so happened to be $39.63 in my account – and that happened to be during the time when AIM somehow wasn't deducting the transaction fee – which I think is pretty neat. I believe that was God's way of confirming to me, and also to my parents, that He's in control of this – this is His plan for the next step of my life.
What about after the race? No idea. I'd honestly love to say I'll be heading back to Peru to teach English, but that's just what I want…and this life isn't about my wants. For this season of my life, God is calling me to the World Race. Perhaps after this next year, the timing will be right for me to go back to Peru. But if not, that just means that God's got something even better in store for my life. He's got it all under control, and He'll clue me in on His plan in His own timing. I feel that through this next year God is going to teach me a whole lot about being selfless, relying on Him, listening to the Holy Spirit's guidance, and living in community with others. I'm nervous, anxious, excited, hopeful…and most of all, I'm trusting in God. His plans > my plans. I don't want to settle for my own plans when I know, without a doubt, He's calling me to something greater. This race is all about me letting go of myself – my plans, my comfort zone, my wants, my way of life – in order to be used by God around the world. The following quote, by Steve Hawthorne, pretty much sums up the struggles I've had with surrendering my plans and gives the essential reason why I'm going on the race – because working with God in His purpose is simply the best choice.
"You can do something other than working with God in His purpose, but it will always be something lesser, and you couldn't come up with something better."
