(Team Rockstar 🙂 Dex, Lindsay, Ashley, Em, Me, AJ
“What has the Lord been teaching you over the past three months? I think it would be important to know so we can better pray for each other. “
Emily asked this question the other day.
I hadn’t really thought about it before but the more I have been thinking about it the more I see the importance in this question. As a new team it is good to know where we are coming from and where the Lord has been working in our life. At the same time it is good to remind ourselves and remember the promises the Lord has given us.
So I thought about this, it didn’t take too long to come up with my answers. Now I am not normally one to share my feelings freely. I am an internal processor and wont talk just to talk and only share when I feel it is important. But that is one area that the Lord has been working on in me. So here I go……
Trust…..”confidence placed in a person”.
Trust has always been a struggle for me. Mostly when it came to opening up and sharing my thoughts, opinions, and feelings with other people. I avoided it as a young adult and it wasn’t till college that I came to a point where I realized I had to let people in and build those relationships. As I trusted and opened up, growth, dependance and relationships followed. However, along with that vulnerability also came hurt. One relationship in particular affected me deeply. I let this person in, more than ever before and in the end I was hurt and the relationship ended. This just proved to me that I was going to get hurt so why try. As a result I put my walls back up. So coming into this Race I will be honest and say I was closed off when it came to letting people in. I honestly had no desire to go through that process of letting people in and then having them hurt and disappoint me again.
So I was hesitant in the beginning of this Race, but with the Lord’s help and the encouragement of my teammates (especially Ash) I learned to let those walls down. As a result I learned what it meant to really trust and let others in. Now I’m not saying that I’m not still hesitant at times or that I wont ever get hurt again because we are all humans and we will hurt each other….thats just life. What I’ve been learning is that the benefits of trust and vulnerability far outweigh the hurts.
Along with trust in relationships also came a growth in my trust in the Lord. Many of you back home can attest to my reliance on myself and my desire to plan my life and future in ways that I wanted and desired. I definitely held my life with a closed fist and normally gave up control only when it was comfortable and easy. Then I began the Race and all that was shattered. I had no choice but to put that trust in the Lord because I had completely no control of my life. I was really convicted of how we are called to trust in the Lord with everything, at all times even if it is not comfortable.
For those of you who don’t know, I have a tattoo on my foot. (Proverbs 3:5-6) I got it last February half as an act of rebellion half as a visual, daily reminder that trust is required in my faith. Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths.” This verse continues to be a daily reminder of that trust that the Lord requires of us. Not only when its easy but especially when its hard and requires faith.
So thats a little of what the Lord has been teaching me. It is crazy how only a few months can change and grow you. Oh my what will another 7 months do????
Until Next Time
Annalisa
(Angelica and Stephanie)
