One thing that I find strange about the race is the moments of disconnect even while you feel connected to home. There are moments where you see things happening at home and you either want to celebrate and be a part of it or you hurt for them. This week particularly, my team yearned to reach out and help in some way but we cannot. While in Nicaragua, I have watched Facebook explode over the violence that began with the shootings of two black men. I have watched person after person cry out for justice and protection. I have watched people say “Black lives matter” and “Blue live matters” and even a few “All lives matter.” Absolutely. Absolutely to all of the above (although I also agree with the argument that right now some lives are more at risk and deserve more of our focus). I watched and I thought “what can I say?” and “what can I do?” and the reality is, not much. I can say that I stand for justice and for peace, which I do. I do not believe that anyone living in the United States should have to be fearful of the police. I also believe that many of the police, in fact all of the men and women that I know and have worked with, are brave and giving. They risk their lives for our protection and beyond the ultimate sacrifice of their lives, they also give so much in the day to day. They work crazy hours and they work hard cases. I have heard their horror stories and I have a lot of respect for what they do.
Still, I hate that there is a group of Americans that fear the people that should be our protectors. After seeing the videos recently posted, I understand a little of why that fear exists. I will never understand it fully. Just as I cannot fully explain to my male friends the fear that women live with because we are taught that the world is not safe for us, we should be scared on a street at night, or intimidated by the men that cat-call us or make comments about us, I cannot fully understand what it would be like to be raised as anything but a white women from a rural county with a good home. I was not taught to fear the police. I was not taught that my skin would put me at a disadvantage. No one ever told me that I needed to dress a certain way in order for people to think I was of a certain class or that I was not a troublemaker.
I wish someone had the answers. My hope is, and always has been, that each of us would choose the kinder path whenever possible. Not to fire the gun if it can be avoided. Not to retaliate violence for violence. There is no simple fix to where we are right now as a country. There will be anger, there will be hurt, there will be confusion, and it will be easy to choose hatred over love. We have every reason to be angry, and that anger must be controlled and channelled to find justice and make the world a better place; it cannot be used to create more bad things. Hate does not solve anything. Choosing hatred only fuels the bad. Let us try to remember to choose love both daily and moment by moment. Let us remember to love each person we meet as best we can. When we see someone who is being wronged, let us be advocates for them. When we see kindness, let us acknowledge that too.
So many years ago, Martin Luther King Jr challenged us with,
“Darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that.”
I believe that we must do our best to be the light. I also believe, perhaps have to believe, that there is much light in the world. That there are more helpers and more good people than there are bad. I hope that this period where everyone is on edge does not make us all mistrust each other and forget what we have in common or what we know to be true of each other. I know so many good people that do good at some cost to themselves and seeing the bad in the world does not negate the many who are good. I have had the privilege of working with people who deal with the “bad” of the world on a daily basis. Those people hear the stories of trauma, they answer the crisis calls, they carry burdens we cannot see, they treat the sick or the mentally ill, they arrive to the homicide scene, they go to the hospital to be with the rape victim, they hear the child’s stories of mom and dad’s fights, and they even sometimes grow suspicious of other good people because how could they not after all they have seen? Yet, they show up, day after day, and they chose to trust those that they can, because they want to help this world that is still struggling to overcome so much bad.
My co-workers are not the only ones I see this in. My fellow racers have it too. They left good jobs, raised money to serve others for a year without a salary, gave up the comforts of home, left behind the communities they loved in order to try and help, in some small way, people and organizations around the world. They may have done it because they love God or because they felt they should, but ultimately they have chosen to keep doing it, even when it is hard or when they are sick or when they would rather just be back at home.
The people and organizations that we have gotten to work with, they represent so much good too. We have been taken in and loved by people everywhere we have gone; even complete strangers have looked out for us. More importantly, we have seen the work that people are doing in their countries. Around the world there are people taking care of the disabled, teaching children, feeding the hungry, caring for the sick, hosting programs to rehabilitate/educate/grow others, adopting kids, helping the disenfranchised, and just caring for each other in billions of ways. I wish that we lived in a world where no extra work was created for the helpers because of human error or evil, but until that day comes, please know there are good people out there, so very many of them. You can choose to sit silently by, or you can choose to be angry, but I hope you will choose to join the light by showing love and helping the world where you can. The world needs every single one of us that want to love it to do so.
