It's hard not getting caught up in worrying about how the race looks to supporters. I want them to feel their money, their support, and their prayers are going to a good cause. This month has been hard to quantify the value of what we're doing. We didn't get to do all we hoped to with our partner organization and we may never know what God does with the people we have met. Writing about those people and those relationships is difficult because I want it to be clear that they are individuals we value and genuinely became friends with; they are not a cause or a chance to "convert" someone.
In fact, I'm not here to convert anyone. I simply want others to know there's a God that loves us like crazy, a God that wants a relationship with each and every one of us. I want them to know they have a choice to know that God in a deeply personal and amazing way. We talked to a man here who voiced that Christians come and give money or food because they want to buy people to their faith. We met another man that voiced that he believed both of our religions lead us to the same God. I would love for him to be right; I would love for everyone to receive salvation and eternity with Christ but I also want people to not miss out on having it now if they want it. I don't want people to be forced into anything, I just want them to know what God wants to give them.
I want people to know that life with Christ brings joy regardless of circumstances. That as a Christian, I have a Heavenly Father who guides me through this life, protecting me and working things to my good when possible, but also giving me peace even when life doesn't feel good or when I go through the darker places. I worship a God that created and loves me. So yes, I want people to find "salvation," but I also genuinely just don't want them to miss out on what my God brings to this life.
This month gave us the chance to really show love and walk with God. Since most days there was no reason to rush off to established ministry, we had the freedom of building relationships and investing in people. As one of our squad coaches would say, we got to be in the bucket. Instead of doing ministry and loving people in structured ways and then going back to God (the bucket) when we needed refilling, we had to stay in the bucket by depending on the Spirit's leading each morning and each day. We went where we felt led.
For Christians, life should be like that, a constant attempt to look like Christ, to be a vessel that displays His love, both for us and others, and the blessing of the relationship we have with Him. I want people to see the joy and freedom my faith brings instead of the obligation and rules that religion brings.
Yet as I've been writing my Nepal summary, I've struggled with the guilt of not having tangible proof of why this month mattered.
We didn't get to do as much of the volunteering as we had hoped to. We did some work with the organization, but I don't have the long list of what we did that most months produce. I honestly feared that without that list, without proof, people might feel we wasted our time.
Each morning this month we've started our day in worship, prayer, and reading. This morning as I read my Bible I came to Galations 1:10:
"For am I now trying to win the favor of people, or God? Or am I striving to please people? If I were trying to please people, I would not be a slave of Christ."
What a wonderful reminder just as I needed it and on our last full day in Pokhara that it's not about pleasing people, it's about following God. If you don't already know the freedom and love our God gives, I hope some day you will find it. If you're already a Christian, I want to encourage you to "get in the bucket" and see where the Spirit takes you.
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